theperfect.BESTdamnTHING;

to a whole new world.

2010-01-30T10:35:00.001+08:00

I'VE MOVED.

>www.glimpseof-paradise.tumblr.com

follow me there.

:D

i hate to make decisions.

2010-01-28T19:00:00.002+08:00

i dont know what to say.
one word,

SPEECHLESS.

damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

just hope i can study hard.
and i comtemplating whether
to go arts or stream.

damn it.

if i go arts,
i can only go into social sciences at uni.
what if im not interested in geo anymore?
IM DEAD.

if i go science,
i have to take bio with chem.
the question here is,
can i cope and do well in h1/h2 chem with a
c6 for bloody olevels?

HELP MEEEEEEEEE SOMEONE.

):

looking like its so complicated.

2010-01-27T19:34:00.003+08:00

hello fellows! :D

firstly,

im going to innova jc.
hmm.
hopefully i can be happy there.
just have to study real hard.
going to school with surya.
:D

today met up with atiqah at 12.
was abit late but nvm la.haha!
trained to marina bay all the way.
had so much fun chit-chatting and laughing.
one of our most funniest chat was this:

me: so atiqah,what kind of house you wana buy when you grow up?

atiq: oh,penthouse.

me: huh?whats that?

atiq: like the top of a building..err.

me: HUH?then rain how?

atiq: *laughing, got shelter what.

hahahahahhaha.
most funniest conversation.
till now,im cracking up.

oh well.
headed to marina barrage.

and OMG.
that place really bored us.
no signs or whatsoever.
and we walking like lost souls.
ahahah.

and also made friends from someone in malaysia.
actually im not sure whether he is frm malaysia,
just assume only. :D
he thought we were tourists,and we had to explain
so much,thanks to atiqah!!!

at last,we went to take pictures and saw everyone having picnic.
so sad.hahha.
so,we left and trained back to vivo.
went there,and immediately headed to banquet.
hahaha,thats how hungry we two were.

i ate laksa,and she ate ban mian.
we were so full,but still after that,we went to buy
dark chocolate drink,AND IT TASTES AWESOMEEEEEEEE!

then went to candy empire
and looked around.
bought sour sweets and she bought some choc thing.
walked around and headed to bookstore.
talked about the MILLION-AND-ONE books we know,hehe!
then headed to the top floor,sat on grass,
and yes,we spent a ridiculous 10 mins to wonder if
the grass was real.but oh well,till now,its mystery.
HAHAHA!
then walked to the waters,and start playing around,
running here and there,and sometimes just sitting
down and looking into the waters,enjoying the wind
and the scenery.(filled with cranes and many other shit,)
but i felt so peaceful and so relaxed.
and i guess we deserve since we starting school tomorrow,
right atiq?
haha.
then headed to the ground level to take more photos. :D
even asked someone to take photos for us.
then after that trained home.
another funny conversation:

me: *talks talks talks about nonsense.

me: *looks at atiqah.

atiq: *looks at someone,and smiles and tries not to laugh.

me: *looks at atiqah.

atiq: *continues trying not to laugh.

me: atiqah,why?!

atiq: i tell u later.

me: okay.*continues talking.

me:*looks at her.

atiq: *tries not to laugh.

me: tell me!!!!

atiq: i type it out okay!
*types out in her hp.

shows me the msg.
HAHAHHAHAHA.
of everything,she laughed at a woman who had a moustache.
and not the NOT-OBVIOUS-KIND,but the kind which is super
wet(maybe cos she was perspiring,but still,EEW.) and so
obvious.

we two burst out laughing.

hais hais.

headed home and waiting for her to upload pics.
and dont be scared or shocked when you see them okay.

CANT BLAME US.
THE WIND WAS SUPER STRONG.
CANT POSSIBLY HOLD OUR HAIR AND TAKE PHOTOS RIGHT.
LOOK LIKE WE WEAR WIGS.
LOL.

oh well.

school tomorrow.
back to waking up at 5,long boring days at school,new uniform,
new books,new teachers,new friends,new environment and oh,
new bitches as well.

hais hais.
just hope life wont be hell for me there.

anyway,
best of luck for all my friends in their future.
we all go same uni okay? :D

hais.
im going to miss every single one in my life in that
not-so-long 4 years of grss life.

AND OH YES,
THE GRASS HURT OKAY.
SO FULL OF STINGS.
DAMNNNN.
SO NOW,I AM WONDERING,
IF ITS REAL?
HAHAHA.

and pspspspspsps/
i look DISGUSTING.
hahaha,its okay.nothing new.

cant find my school shoes.
damnnnnnn.

i should have known,in this world,im always alone.

2010-01-27T08:45:00.002+08:00

all of a sudden.
i feel so alone facing this world.

i am going to miss the times where,

i come into the school and i head to the foyer.
i sit with my friends and we talk all sorts of crap.
i would say hi to aaron and bryan when i see them.
i would be talking to marcus and arguing with him at assembly.
i would be saying hi to eunice,and she would be,HEY BEGUM!
i would be smiling widely at nick,and he would be doing the same thing.
i would make fun of madhavi with yunkhim all the time.
i would be chatting with atiqah and sameen when mr chui talks.
i would be taking photos in the toilet.
i would be sitting at the back of the class talking to bryan.

i am going to miss everything.
because im going to be alone in that school.

damn.
i hate this damn feeling.

at PSLE,
i never felt that way.
guess because i couldnt read my own feelings.

but now,im feeling terribly alone.
scared of everything.

GAAAAAAAAAH.

nevermind.
guess i have to face the world alone.

2010-01-26T21:42:00.000+08:00

plans cancelled.

damn.

when i look at you,the whole world fades away.

2010-01-26T19:28:00.002+08:00

everyday facebooking equals to boredom and sick of facebook.

damn.
tomorrow is probably last day of fun.
nmaybe saturday as well.

then if i get into jc,

BACK TO SCHOOL ON THURS.

LIKE OMGWDFDAMNSHITASS.
school starts early.
good luck shamimah.
*shakes hand.

damn.
cant wait for tomorrow.
want this day to end.
or maybe waiting for nijangal!
;D

transformer right at cck!

2010-01-18T17:10:00.001+08:00

I DID SOMETHING TO ME MY HAIR!

GO SEE IN FACEBOOK OKAY!
AND TELL ME UR HONEST OPINIONS.

NOT THAT UR OPINIONS CAN CHANGE ANYTHING.

BUT FOR ONCE,

IM FEELING HAPPY ABOUT THE WAY I LOOK.

and all you have to do is to find the spark.

2010-01-18T11:09:00.003+08:00

HAHAHHAA.

was reading all my old posts,from 2008,
and omg,

CANT BELIEVE I USE TO BLOG THIS WAY.

the way i blog last time is damn funny.
HAAHHA.
and i was so depressed last time
that im laughing my ass out now.

sigh.

en kadhal solla...

2010-01-17T21:41:00.002+08:00

hello people!

have been quite busy for some time.
so many things to do.

will not be blogging too often either.
kinda lost my mood to blog these days.
the crave is just gone.

and oh,

YES,
YOU HAVE CHANGED.

dont ask me for the better or the worst.
thats for you to decide.

have a great week ahead.
:D

have to take the right one.

2010-01-13T21:26:00.001+08:00

IM SO CONFUSED.
I DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO.

ITS NOT LIKE AS IF I HAVE SO MUCH CHOICES AS WELL.
AND OMGWTH,I DONT EVEN LIKE SOME.
SO MUCH FOR DOING WELL.

DAMN.
ONLY HAVE 2 MORE DAYS.
-.-

shitty.

fated.

2010-01-11T21:29:00.001+08:00

i dont know whether im sad or happy.
dont ask me.

all i know is im dissapointed in myself.

but oh,

IM PROUD OF YOU BABE.
U MADE ME REAL PROUDDDDDDD.
ALL THE BEST FOR UR FUTURE.

SAMEEN.
YOU ARE GREAT.
SERIOUSLY.
I AM REALLY PROUD OF U.
BEST OF LUCK FOR UR FUTURE.
YOU WOULD DEFINETELY GO FAR! :D

oh well.
nevermind.
no more words.
just glad everythings' over.

its just the wait for the day thats making me feel all weird.

2010-01-08T09:51:00.003+08:00

JANUARY 11TH.

IT WILL EITHER BE THE BEST or the WORST
day of my 16 years.

i dont want to dream or hope,in case i fail myself again.

i will let god decide my path.

i dont know what i want.

2010-01-06T21:20:00.002+08:00

if you hate me or if im not who i was to you once.
tell it to me straight.

damn.
stomach ache just isnt getting better.

results out on 11th.
freaked out.
oh well.

2010-01-04T21:53:00.000+08:00

aaaah fuck.
i think i will die out of stomach-ache.

food poisoning?
hell yeah!

its either distinct or im just imagining.

2010-01-04T10:22:00.002+08:00

i can see that distinct line you are drawing
between you and me.

i can just not only see,but feel it too.
long gone the days,where i talk with ease.

who knows?
you might be the next to leave.
oh well.
whatever.

whatevers' suppose to happen,would happen.

what a stupid irony.

2010-01-03T18:47:00.002+08:00

hello!

im so tired.
damn.
only slept for 7 hours.
whatt?!
thats little for me okay.

saturday was a busy day for me.
around the afternoon,went to my tuition teacher's wedding.
gosh,she looks sooo beautiful and the food was real good.
oh well.me like! :D

then,went bpp,went shopping.
around 5,met the rest and went to the temple.
waited around,looked at the funfair and then
went into the hall.
started helping out as we are suppose to.
and then,helped and enjoyed the show all the way till 10.30.
made new friends as well. :D
went home after a tiring day.
ate and slept like a pig.

today woke up around 7,and left the house before anyone woke up.
HAHA!met up with monessa and vino.went to have macdonalds breakfast
and trained to yew tee.meet up with all the rest and trained to
braddel.went to buy roti prata and breakfast for the rest and went
to the house.did our jobs,and laughed and had fun.though,it was preety
irritating.just cracked jokes with vino/monessa/sandhya and kasthuri.
fun.went for lunch and then waited for producers and all!after that,
had chats together and trained home.otw,ate ice-creams and went to look
at wedding gowns.HAHA!then trained to bp,went temple and met surya,
gave her some necessary stuffs and then off home! :D

came home,and almost got scolding from dad.
haiya.

and now.
to YOU.
listen up.

I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT U ANYMORE.
I MEAN IT.OKAY,DIE OR WHATSOEVER BUTTTTT FOR ALL I CARE.
AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO ME,I SWEAR NEVER IN MY LIFE WILL I
EVER TALK TO U AGAIN.NOT EVEN LOOK IN YOU FUCKING DIRECTION.
GO ON,AND SAY WHATEVER SHIT U WANA SAY ABOUT ME.WHATEVER
NONSENSE U SPIT,IF PEOPLE BELIEVE,ITS FUCKING OBVIOUS,THEY
ARE BLOODY STUPID AS WELL.THOUGH WE DID FUCKING THINGS FOR
EACH OTHER,I KNEW YOU WOULD GO BACK TO THEM.FINE!GO,FOR ALL
I CARE.BUT DONT COME RUNNING BACK TO ME.AND SAYING SORRY OR
WHATSOEVER SHIT.BECAUSE,FUCK U,I WOULD JUST FUCKING SLAP U
OR DO SOMETHING TO SHOW MUCH I HATE YOU.I MEAN IT.I BLOODY
HATE U.

work next week.
and school is starting for the rest.
damn.
how i wish i could go as well.
):

fall to pieces.

2010-01-02T11:23:00.002+08:00

hello.

yesterday was okay.
cant believe on the first day of 2010,
i actually actually ate macdonalds!
gosh.
i just broke my resolution to have a good diet
to lose some fats! damnnn!

well yesterday,headed over to my cousin's house.
and then,i went to watch,

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS 2!

OMG!
they were sooooo cuteeeeeeeeeee!!!!
seriously.
i absolutely love the green one!
hahah!

i watched it twice already,and omg,it is sooo nice.
heheh.
im practically grinning to myself.

and im totally paiseh.
ahaha.

(after the totally awesome movie)

me: omg lah,they are sooo cute.they look so cute,especially
the green one.omg,so fat and so chubby.thats it,i want
to have a hamster,a really fat one,and im going to call
it whatever name the green one has.hahaha.*starts thinking.

parthiban: hamster?hello,thats a chipmunk.in other words,

(i interrupted him.)

me: isnt it all the same?and well,hamsters look that cute as well!

parthiban: erm,chipmunks are somehow similar to squirrels.only
squirrels can run that fast...(BLAH BLAH,HE RAMBLES ALL
HIS ANIMAL KNOWLEDGE TO ME.)

me: okayyy.and so?i have to keep a squirrel or a chipmunk or a hamster?

parthiban:*rolls his eyes.(I PRACTICALLY SAW HIM DOING THAT),
i wonder how you past your comprehension.

hais.
by then i was hungry,
and so i replied him,
me: I NEVER DID.

hahaha.
and then he started questioning me how i got a b3 for prelims.

gosh.
that guy is full of crap.
HAHAH!
(:

i realise something.

sometimes when you try too hard,it just slips out of your hand.

and oh,
simple.
it just depends on who you believe.

i have a very busy day today.
i wonder if i can get it all done.
):

ps/

just saw on marcus facebook,
that o'levels results will be on 11-13 jan.
LIKE OMG,thats fucking fast.
and im so scared.
really really scared.
because i really really,(x100) wonder if i did well.
*sad life.

pps/

in my last post,i forgot to add two facts about 2009!

#10.
I HAD H1N1.hahahahh!

#11.
i almost died by fajar road with a wounded knee that was losing
a huge amount of blood,and not allowing me to walk around for
about a week.

oh well.

starting anew,perhaps?

2010-01-01T11:21:00.002+08:00

phew.
2010 is here.
seems so fast.
just another 9 more months,
and i'll be bloody 17.
whoa.

well.
lets reflect back what happen in 2009 alrights.
i know i know,people say dont look back,
but too bad.im going to.

why 2009 was a..erm..
(i dont even have any words to describe it.)
(gosh.)
fine.
i shall say the facts about 2009.

2009 was a year that,

#1.
i cried the most.(*duhhh,i can see madhavi and the rest nodding.)

#2.
i took my o'levels.

#3.
i made new friends.

#4.
i lost some friends and realised who were the true ones.

#5.
my trust in love vanished completely.

#6.
i began doubting my capabilities.

#7.
i met someone interesting for at least 5 months.

#8.
i met a witch who was utterly disgusting.HAHA.

#9.
i am still alive and heading out in the world after grss.

well.
only 9 facts k.
cos im lazy and also 2009 whatt!
so nine facts la!

oh well.
many has happen in 2009.
i only can remember one which will never forget.

i really really,

cried alot this year.

wonder how many tons or gallions of water was wasted.
HAHAH!

hais hais.

i just really really HOPE 2010 would be good.
as in,just satisfying.
cant hope for too much either.

i remember i had a post on 31-12-08.
saying all my resolutions.
HAHAHAH,i dont think i did any of it.
lets see.

that post.

aiights,so i shall start.

#1- study real hard & put in my best for olevels.

#2- be a filial child to my parents.

#3- start being a tad more religious.

#4- try to be neat.*grins.

#5- no more foul words to be used,by person/blog.

ps/gna be hard,but i will try.

#6- do not lie for whatsoever reasons.

#7- give up on love.

ps/OH WAIIITTTT.i alrdy did.gah.haha.

#8- appreciate my friends/classmates.

#9- enjoy school life and stop grumbling when homewk is given

#10- save money as world is going through recession.

#11- be a good samaritan and give more donation.

#12-ENJOY LIFE & MAKE MY FAMILY PROUD OF ME,SHAMIMAH.B!!!

HAHAHHAHAHAH!
okay,
hmmmm.
i didnt at all do #3.
dont ask why.
#7 was what i did though.
seriously!
#5,
noppeeee,never did.HAHAH!
#10,
i never did save money.
#11,
erm,didnt do much donation,but alot of volunteerism.

okay la.
i think i at leats did 1/4 of it.
happy whattt!
:D

ts a start of another decade.
hoepfully i live till 26.
haha.

oh well.
i just want to tell myself that whatevers happen
would happen.and it already did.can never change
it.maybe one day,when im old enough,i would look
back and laugh.but for now,they are just memories.
some old memories,that only can be with a wistful
sigh.some new ones,which hurt,and they sting badly.
just like a new bee's sting.but as time goes by,it
would heal,but im sure the scar would still be there.
i guess everything happens for a reason.some things
which happen in my life,i already found out the reason.
but some,not yet.its still hidden there,just have to
continue finding it.some of them,till now,i havent know
the reason.but maybe,its just my fate not to know the
reason.oh well.

i just hope i can be happy in 2010.
no matter what.
im probably going somewhere new,
and making new friends.
lets not talk about love.
i just want to be someone new for a change.

lets just wait and see alrights.
wait and see what has 2010 kept in store for us.

happy new year everyone.

just less than 24 hrs to 2010.

2009-12-31T10:49:00.002+08:00

in a foul mood now.

its unfair that im unable to go to a bloody countdown.
my mother is so nice to let me go.
its my father.
damnnn.

sad life i have.
never able to enjoy.

its not like as if i've been out the whole time since o'levels ended.
its not like as if i always ask for the damned money.
i never did ask for money.
dont give,its not my problem.
i can starve,at least lose some fats.

bloody hell.
the blame always comes back to me.

and of everthing,what happen yesterday,
was like a bloody slap to my face.
oh well.

not going to care anymore.
no point wasting my tears and
practically everything else.

just going to live my life.

happy new year,everyone!

lets just hope that 2010 will be a better year for me.
speaking of 2010,reminds me of results.
grr.
):

i realise im an emotional person.
which ~~sucks.~~

im not afraid of anything.

2009-12-30T19:22:00.004+08:00

i have no idea why,

i still care.i still bother.i still think.
things just change abit too fast.just too
fast-moving for my pace.and im left behind.
all the time.its either me or them.never
ever play with me because again,im human.
how i wish i was in another world where all
i can do is to forget you,rather than learning
to trust and then falling over the edge,
all over again.

and now im wondering,
if my name ever crosses your mind?
do you ever feel the guilt?
do you ever wish i was there?
do you ever missed me?
do you ever,
ever realised you were my
everything?

freak out or just let it go.

2009-12-30T11:07:00.002+08:00

gosh.
this is like so irritating.
why do i have to be sooo bored?!

i have no plans for today.
im suppose to have a fun day out.
but guess whattt?!

im trapped at home,in comparison
to a bird trapped in a cage.

GOSH!
after olevels,
and im trapped.

okay maybe not as bad as my friend,who is 19 years old,
but still gets scolding for hanging out late at home
yesterday.

and bad enough,
i have no more work this week.
all free!
and im only unavailable from thursday onwards.
LIKE DAMN!

*sticks out tongue.
no one can say anything to that!
:D

hais.
sad.
gonna stick my head at the computer for
god knows how many hours.

shitty!

and omg omg omg.
another 24 hrs time,
okay almost there la.
its going to be another year altogether!
thats like ohhh so fast.

\
and thomas,giving me heart attack early in the mrng,
telling me next friday results coming out.
grrr.
):

sad life.
i dont know where im going to go in 2010.
lets just ~~dream~~,no,HOPE for the best.

i bet on it.

2009-12-28T18:30:00.000+08:00

trust me.
never,will i trust you again.

im going to live my life.

2009-12-28T10:34:00.003+08:00

when life gives you lemon,you
bloody hell give lemonade back,man!

thats it.

never am i ever going to cry for you anymore.
you were ONCE everything to me.
but after what you did,i guess i was just a
nothing to you.

all things happen for a reason.

fuck it.
i dont care about you anymore.
hear that??!?!!
okay,actually,i will.
but never will i show it to you.

damn it.

i dont care about anyone in my life anymore.
i am going to live it like my own.

when im happy,im happy.
when im sad,im sad.

it depends on me whether im going to change that.

i like this particular para from one of avril's songs:

so,who knows what could happen?
do what you do,just keep on laughing.
one things' true,there is always a brand new day.
so,you go and make it happen.
do your best,just keep on laughing.

blah blah,
then it continues.

its true.
its my motto now.

i will smile like a fool whenevr i want.
i will cry like an ass whenevr i want as well.

i am just going to make myself stronger.

i hate it when people make use of me.
and when you do that,fuck it.
trust me,no one would ever make use of me again.
i wont allow it.

told you,
NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.

3 years of friendship went down to ashes.

i guess,
thats life.

what goes around,
would come back around.

throwing darts is god's profession.

2009-12-27T12:29:00.002+08:00

gosh.fuck it man.

whenever i try to be happy for the sake of people,
some one comes and stir it up.

omg.

i was soooooooooooooo angry.
and wasted my fucking tears on someone who wasnt worth it
at all.

and no,even parthiban went mood-out after hearing that.

like god-damn.
why must such things only happen to me?

and fuck it la.
im going MIA.
like for real this time.
seriously.

i just cant face this world anymore.

and yes,
im sorry madhavi.
i just cant be happy like how you wanted me to.
i dont have anything with me.
im nothing.
trust me on that.

the pain i inflict on myself
is wonderful.
for the only reason is that,
the pain is only concentrated at one particular area.
then clouding up my entire body.

i cant take it anymore.
i really cant.
im getting sick and tired of everything.
wanted to smile genuinely for once.
but god seems to be throwing darts from every direction.
and,i cant seem to dodge it with a smile on my face.
it feels like im getting hit at every part of my life.

sinful indulgence. ):

2009-12-21T18:39:00.001+08:00

it sucks,
really sucks,
when you are on an important diet,(a serious one,that is),
and a fucking small bar of chocolate
or even famous amos spoils it all!

it will just be sitting down in my kitchen table.
and i will walk pass.
damn.
after seeing it,i remind myself that im on a strict diet,
and i turn back.
i spend my time walking around like a lunatic in the hall.
to realise all i ever think about for that awful 30 or more
seconds,is that damn sinful chocolate!

and sadly,
i go and eat and start to indulge in it.

and then,
i start to feel so guilty that i wish i could fucking stop eating.

for god's sake!

im like sooooooooooooooooo fat larhhhhhhhh!

):

2009-12-20T10:15:00.002+08:00

just because you sms me doesnt mean you care.
because i know that i was never important to you.
because you are never to me what you are to others.

i realise lots of people are leaving me because
i guess,i just am a fucked up person.

a really big fucked up idiot.

i want to be happy.
or maybe i just want to please people
so that they wont be so much in suffering
just for me to be happy.

but,i dont know where to start.

maybe i would be happy if i just die.
maybe.

i have nothing in this world.
not even you.

2009-12-19T09:35:00.002+08:00

i am so fucking stupid to do that yesterday.
i hate yesterday and i hate myself.
got even more scolding from dad and mum.

mum even asked me to leave her alone.

i dont think she cares if i die or something.
i dont think anyone would.

head hurts alot as well.
look like something might just protrude out of it.
i dont know la.
dont care either.

because i had a bad day.

2009-12-17T18:42:00.001+08:00

oh my god.

i cant believe u did that.

cried all the way hme.
just like how once i cried after getting results.
some stupid man asked me if i was okay.
and i said no.

and fell down otw home,because cant see clearly.
and fuck it,i look even uglier now with a big
swollen head.

going to go doctor tomorrow.

came home with really really red and swollen eyes.
got huge huge huge huge scolding from dad.

and now,

i feel like dying.

MIA.
dont sms or call me.
i wont pick up nor answer.
unless,

i believe you can help.

i so
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking

HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my head really hurts.
i feel like crying.
hope i just die with a blood clot
in my brain.

i dont know whats happening to me.
everything seems to backfall.
fuck.

when all you could see,was the beauty.

2009-12-16T19:39:00.002+08:00

irritated at start,tired in the middle and fun at the end.
thats my day today.
(:

i spent it with the right person today to make me full of smiles.

im just sad.

everything i know about breaking hearts,
i learnt it from you.

i was on my computer looking around,
came across some pictures and a couple
of conversations we had together.
it kind had me reminiscing back to where
things were abit different,right before you
let me go,cause even though we had to finish,
it was worth getting that heart broke,cause i
aint never had that feelings before.and i didnt
get to say it before everything end,and even
though its forever goodbye,i want you to know
that you are my favourite.and though i've cried,
im not gonna lie,

im always here for you.
and,you will always be mine.

):
what to do.
im fucking nonsensitical.
having dreams that aint gonna come true.

and i hate it,because im breaking down everynight.
but there is no one out there.
no one.

(:

2009-12-14T12:39:00.003+08:00

im crazy.

i was watching a tamil movie,
alai payuthey.

i cry so much during the movie.
and i mean,alot.

and then,at the end,
i start smiling like an idiot and clap my hands.

oh god,im going bonkers.

2009-12-13T19:20:00.002+08:00

i think thats it.
im breaking down.
and i hate it.

oh,dont try contacting me.
i wont reply or anything.

blame it on god or whatsoever.
its just fate.

wait.
just blame it on me.
i dont know why im like that.

waiting for that day.

2009-12-10T18:41:00.002+08:00

fuck you.

i would rather live in hell than be alive.

and its obvious,
you hate me.
come on,
secrets are rarely kept on earth,stupid.

):
its just sad.

i dont know whats wrong with me.

oh.my.god.

i really really dont know.

MIA for awhile.

editteddd///

i think i need a pep-talk.
anyone?
~~shit.~~

the light that shines through.

2009-12-06T14:41:00.004+08:00

hello people.

i am feeling so lethargic.
gosh. :/

well,yesterday was saturday,aint it?
so,woke up,got ready and went to meet yunkhim.
went causeway with her,and had so much fun!
met up with surya as well,and we went to take
neoprints.haha.it was damn fun lah.then,accompanied
yunkhim for her lunch and off to pasir ris.

reached chalet and met up with marcus/fiona/aaron/bryan/huida
and edwin.all walked back to the chalet and saw eunice and
xinying.said our hellos and started watching dramas.around 6/7,
walked to the bbq pit and started our fire and bbq-ing all our
food.

had fun bbq-ing,and talking.and then,it was raining.haha.
we were holding black trash bags and cooking food.gosh,we all
were such clever people.haha.

then ate a bit bit,and started to bbq the prawns,sotongs and
stingray.

"oh.my.god".

MARCUS,YOU GENIUS LAHHHH!

haha.
and his uncle is even better.

a million thanks,man.

i loved the food siaaaa!
especially the seafood.
yums.

reached hme at 12.30am.
immediately went to sleep.
heh.

woke up around 9 today.
and realised i cant go out.
got pissed abit.
but then,got okay after a while.

did housework and stuff.
and i am starting work this week!
yey!
i want money mannnnnnnnn!

:D

but i scared sia.
somemore,surya just called me.
shitshitshit.
*cross fingers.
please lehhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

):

editted///////////////

gosh.so damn confusing.
and im soooo angry/pissed/sad/scared.
aarghhhh.
why me?
why not someone else?
lucky its only for 1 and a half weeks.
if not,i think i would just die.

):

damn it.
and of all places,why there?!!!!?!?!?!?

*cries.

because there i go,falling right through that hole.

2009-12-04T10:17:00.002+08:00

hello.

as usual,i was just sitting down and thinking.
and thinking.and thinking.of so many things that
it almost made me go mad.
and there,there was this phonecall.
and all of a sudden,everything was crystal clear.
just like that.
maybe it was because my heart spoke,rather than
me carefully thinking of what to reply for every
single question.

and then of course,
i lost my sleep.
and am sitting here with swollen eyes.
tsk.
what to do.
*shakes head.

and so,i was continuing my job of thinking.
and i realise i would want to blog abt this
one day.and i wanted the one day to be today.

i realise i am talking crap.

anyway,
this is actually my post to thank everyone who has been
in my life at greenridge.as in,seriously.
we all have changed,and all of were together for 2 years.
its a long time,you know!

(aiya,fuck it man.for all i care,if you guys arent appreciative.)

okay,its no order.
no chronological shit or anything.
it just starts and end alright.
doesnt mean,the last person is the one i like lesser or whatever.
unless you want to think that way,then think.
i dont care.

okay,actually it has an order.
it has an order of whose photo appears in my folder first.
and whoever photo appears first,i click and start.
(:

okayy.

#1.

ps/dont ask me how come her photo is usually first.
got alot of her face in my computer.HAHA. :D

ms surya boom.
three words,for you,
I LOVE YOUUUUU.
oops,i forgot to add the bitch.
HAHA.
thanks for everything.(:

#2.

HAHAHA.this one also lah,always on my computer photos.

ms r.vino,

i would like to say thank you for entering my life.
i have to admit,i never fancied you at first.
but then,i realise as time goes by,i really liked you
and you are such a good friend to me.i would love to
see you happy and i know you are making a great effort
to see me more optimistic.*cough,i would try alrights.
i really love you as my own now.
and i hope to see our friendship grow. :D

#3.

okay pardon me.
i cant find a photo with only her inside.
actually i have alot,but im sure she would kill me if she saw that on net.
and i dont really want to die in her hands.

alright,miss chua,

thanks for everything.
seriously.
i think you are one of the most treasured friends of my life.
i would never want to stop being friends with you.
and if you realise,you were the only one who could make me laugh
whenever i was sad or whenever i was messaging you.
i know sometimes i make fun of you and i might have made you
angry or real sad,but i dont mean it.
you were always important to me,and my memories are usually filled
by you.i hope you and i would be good friends forever and i would
never want to forget you.
love you so muchhhh,best friend.
to me,i think you are wonderful and you would go far.
i have no idea whats your ambition,but if you becoming a teacher,
lets hope and see for us to meet each other somewhere alrights! (:

#4.

this is one of my favourite photos of her.

okay miss maple,

thank you.
for everything you have done for me.
i would never forget the days in the toilet,all the after-exam tears
and even the day i cried on your shoulder.though,sometimes i was
ignored,you were always there,making sure i was still strong and
same.and i have to say sorry,if i wasnt the best friend you wanted.
i dont think i was a very good friend to you,but you do mean alot to me.
if anything were to happen to you,i would feel and think for you.
though,i would never show it.what to do,im that kind.though,recently,
i have no idea what kind of problems you have,because you rarely tell me,
but i want you to be you.and im sure there is someone else better for you
out there.you are beautiful and you are one of the most kindest person i
have known.i realise there are many others out there who loves you more
than me,but no matter what,i would never stop treating you as my best friend.
and,go for your dreams okay.im sure to see doctor madhavi one day.and im proud
to have a friend like you.
i love you.(:

#5.

heyhey pretty one!(:

ms lohloh,

i would like to say a big thank you to you.
i have realised how much you have helped me during my worst days.
you were trying to cheer me up and never would i forget everything
you have done to advice and make me smile.thank you,eunice.trust me,
without you in class,is like without an important person.i dont know
how to explain how much of difference you made in my life and i hope
you would always be happy.you are such a smart girl,and so,go for your
dreams alright.and stay strong as well.and heard you were attached,that
guy is real lucky.HAHA.im gonna miss all your funny nonsense,eunice loh!
(:
and i guess,until i grow up,i would never stop calling you lohloh.
HAHA.

#6.

ms ross.
haha.
okay,this is from the bottom of my heart.
you are the sweetest person i have met in sec 3 and 4.
and whenever i needed someone to talk to,aboutt that someone,
i remembered you were always there for me,and that you always
somehow made me feel better.though we arent that close,i always
wished you were one of my closest friends.haha.well,actually now
you are.i wish you all the best in your life and love life as well.
haha.and we have to go out soon alrights?
stay happy and cheerful as always,atiq.i love you.(:

#7.

miss hui weilin.(:

this woman here,has really touched my heart,
the gift she gave me on graduation really really made me cry.
she was one of the rare ones who showed me that she really
cared and appreciated me for whatever i did.i was really touched
and i would like to say sorry for all the times i complained that
i didnt want to go to certain places with you.i realised my mistake
now and to me,now you are a precious gem.and dont worry,little one,
you would definetely get someone who would love you and gosh,you would
definetely achieve your utmost impt dreams.trust me,i believe in you like
no one had.haha.i love you so much and i hope to go out with you sooon!!!

#8.

and then,there is this little angel.

IMAN!
i miss her so much.
she has always made my days worthwhile to spend it with her.
she always had the ability to make me smile and laugh.
she was one of the most important people in my life and she
still is.im sure you would do well for your olevels,babe.
trust me,because i have the believe in you.always listen to
yourself alrights,and oh,dont care if people said you were
extra thin or whatsoever,because to me,you are just nice.
(:
i love you babe,and waiting to go out with youuu!(:

#9.

sameeen! (:

okay,firsly,
i love this girl right here.
i do remember that i spent so much time with her at biology lab and
we told each other so much stuff.and she was always ready to part
her advices to me as well.after her,i realised how fortunate i was.
thank you so much sameen for everything you have done for me and im
awfully grateful,babe.and im waiting for our outing!love you,darl. (:
take good care of yourself,and you are immensely clever.do well in
life,alrights? (:

#10.

aiyo.act cute siah,sng!

okayyyyyy,
million thanks to you for being my friend.i do think that you were
one of the most encouraging friend i have ever met.i really appreciate
it,serious.you made a big difference in my life and you were always the
one who lifted up my spirits after stupid downfalls.thanks for your
never-ending encouragement and your stupid but always funny jokes.and guess
what,because of you,only my SEX knowledge grew.awwhhh,arent you proud?HAHAH!
i hope to be friends with you forever mannnn!

okay,these are some of the most important people in my life.
but im getting super lazy now,and im rushing out for some
very important errands.

anyway,whoever is important in my life,would know it themselves.
because,i practically rant to it about them everyday.

haha.

okay.
this post wasnt just to get all your thank you's and stuff.
was written whole-heartedly.
and so,if you cant appreciate it,please do not tag.
thank youuuuuu.

i really got to go.
takecare.
have a great day,people.

finding a place in this world.

2009-12-03T16:36:00.002+08:00

hello.

im just plain tired.
gosh.

i just went bonkers yesterday.

i would be waiting for your call.
i aint going to sleep tonight.
just for you.

aiya,fuck it man.
i already said there is obviously
no one out there for me.
so,why would you want me to dream?
whats the point?
it will definetely be something
which would not come true.

even a guy like him,
didnt want me,what makes u
think others would?

fucking stupid aint i?

2009-12-02T22:06:00.003+08:00

its just my fate,

that im so stupid.
that i cant be a perfect friend.
that i cant keep my mouth shut.
that i can never be the understanding one.
that i can never give good advice.

and i think i should just be alone la.
not with any friend or whatsoever.
because all i ever do is make them angry.

what to do?
my fate what.

i do believe that two is better than one.

2009-12-01T20:13:00.003+08:00

im genuinely happy.
from the bottom of my heart.

cant wait for tomorrow.
*fingers kept crossed.

and i have made my decision.
im gonna stone myself.
trust me,not going to let anyone
in,to give high hopes and let
me down just like how someone
did and left me fucking broken.
never again.
and trust me,i would never get someone
i want as well.
so why,yearn,want,try,believe?
my say.

if you love something,
let it go.
if it comes back to you,its yours.
if it doesnt,
it just never was.

old quote.
but meaningful one.

(:
have a nice day people.

thats the way we were meant to be.

2009-12-01T10:20:00.001+08:00

someone,

put a fullstop to this boredom.

thank you.

and im just a girl.

2009-11-30T18:33:00.001+08:00

you are the only one
i wish i could forget.
the only one i would
love not to forgive,
and though you break my heart,
you are the only one.

anything but ordinary.

2009-11-30T10:25:00.000+08:00

entertain me,anyone?

if only you realised.

2009-11-29T19:52:00.001+08:00

hello people.

i'm going to dye my hair this colour.
im sure i would look good.
yes,to see me in this hair colour,
come meet me okay.

bye.

a decision made.

2009-11-27T14:27:00.002+08:00

hello people!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

currently waiting for lunch.
super hungry.
gosh,getting fatter siah!

and how lucky can i be.
have sore eyes on this day itself.
-.-
blame the loss of sleep of mine.
gosh.

cousins staying over.
yey! :D

i dont know why.
i dont feel myself.
i have so many feelings inside me.
but no one is there,
just to listen.

did you forget?

2009-11-25T21:49:00.005+08:00

please ignore the first part.
editted under///////////////////

does everyone in the world,at least once,fall in love
with the wrong person?

fall in love with someone you know made a change in your
life?made you smile and laugh whenever you are near?made
you think of him whenever there is some song sung.and also,
made you realise he isnt meant for you.but you cant get him
out of your head?only to realise he is slowly advancing to
your heart withought you able to stop it.and you know you
are going to get hurt at at last.and thats when you make up
your mind to forget that person.but,as time passes by,you
cant forget that place where you first met.you cant forget
your first glance,your first words,your teasing each other.
none of it.and then,it hits you,that you cant forget any of
it.it just fades.and it only does when you least expects you.
and the next time you walk pass that place,you would think of
the affection and smile rather than feel the piercing pain
somewhere deep inside your heart.for,those are meant to be
memories,arent they?

someday,i would get it over with.but i do know i would never
forget you.even if i could,i wont.the 3 months,22 days,
that i got to know you,would never leave me.i am really going
to miss you.but i really wish i knew some things about you.just
knew,to store in my memory.

things change,dont they?

thanks for leaving without telling me.at least,you realise that
it would hurt me more.~~or,did you?~~

you are meant to be faded in my heart.
but still etched.
somewhere deep inside.

its aching.
but that would be gone.

dont worry.
not you.
never you.

love is just a word,
until you find someone to
give it a definition.

its my own thoughts.
fuck you all if ripped.

im upset.
nothing you guys can do about.
have a great day! :D

will blog again soon.

............................................................................

gosh,i have nothing to say.

i am having fucking headaches this second,
because of loss of sleep yesterday night.

whoa,rolling around in bed,mentally making
up blog posts,thinking about YOUUUU
and YOUUUU,can make me sleepless.

interesting.
-.-

okay,fine,this is it.

guys,please,think for a while.

neither of you wants to give in.
neither of you wants to forgive.
neither of you wants to say,"im sorry."
neither of you make the effort to understand each other.
neither of you do anything!

do you realise,
that its always me making the damned effort to get back
you and you together?
and,no it isnt taken seriously,is it?

just because someone rakes up the past,or someone does a
small 'forgetting about you' mistake,it doesnt leave your
memory,does it?

and because of that thing,

this fucking sentence comes out,

you see,i told you,we just dont get along.

fucking shit.

if you guys didnt get along,you guys would have never been together
from the first place?

why whenever you guys fight,
you only think of whatever wrong you guys did at that point of time,
but do not,just sit down,think of how much fun you guys have with each
other,the amount of endless love you guys have for each other?

of course you guys wont.

both of you are that stubborn.

cant one of you take tha initaitive to call up each other and meet up
to talk it out?

what kind of fuck question is this,

"why cant she do it?"

fuck it man.
why cant you be the unique one to call the other?

and if both of you actually take the initiative,
trust me,life would be so much better.

you know,change is a big word.
saying it is fucking easy.
doing it is another story.

you see,

i know LOVE isnt forever,
and nothing ever lasts,
but maybe things would be different,
and outcomes would be possible,
because all that was just the PAST.

come one,people,move on.
trust me,it would be a whole lot better.

sit down.
think.
reflect.
about how much we had together.
wait.
correction.
how much both of you had together.

i think thats all i can say.
i have had enough of trying to get you guys together.

if both of you had thought of how much MORE you guys
can have together,then make the move,and clear up all
the trouble you both had.

if both of you are going to be as stagnant as always,
and waiting,for the other to do something,then,trust
me,im going to give up and just be gone.

accept each other for who they are.
forgive each other wholeheartedly,
because if you realise,

its easier to forgive an enemy
than a friend,isnt it?

pffffft.

do it for yourself,people.

my say is over.

no matter what,you guys are still my life.
but trust me,if it doesnt work,i would rather
give it all away.
to make it work,its up to you guys.

maybe,think again.
of everything we had.
and everything we could have.

and to all the no.1 kaypohs' out there,
please be mindful that this is about
NO ONE that any of you knows.so dont,
make up stories,because none of you,i
repeat none,knows about this.and so,
the people who is suppose to read it,
and whom will,will know.

a special gem in my life.

2009-11-25T09:48:00.002+08:00

hello people!

god,my life is so boring.
HAHAH!

i am gonna go out today and enjoy my life out.
and hari raya haji is coming,and im so excited
about it as well!then im having a sleepover with
my darlings,and gosh,cant waittttt!

but till then,my weekdays are packed,NOT.
sad life. ):

im gonna find a job sooner or later.
first,its no point me rotting at home.
and secondly,i rather have money in my hands,
then nothing! :D

i have actually nothing to blog about,
so im going to bury my head in cafe world.
yes,i have no life at all.*shakes head.

im dissapointed.
i realise there is no point waiting.
im just going to fall.
without you to hold me up.

sayonara,chicka!

beautiful nightmare?

2009-11-24T11:35:00.004+08:00

gosh.
im sooo bored.

i have nth to do.
yes,again.
i actually stopped changing skin continously when i was in sec2.
and here i go,i start again!
finding for a new one! :D

this shows,i am the same old me.
never satisfied.
shit.got to learn to accept.-.-

IM SO BOREDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i want to do so many things.
but gosh,i seemed so busy the last few weekends,
and i have absolutely nothing to do now.
damn.

i just have to go shopping!
craving for it.
gaaaaaaaah.

speaking of cravings,

i just ate 200g of famous amos cookies yesterday night,
thank you very muchhhh,parthiban,and goshhhhhhhhh,
I WANT MOREEEEEE.

AHAHAH.

which reminds me,
i have to hit the gym soon.

oh god.

every organ in me screams BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

okay,i'll blog later.
i think im going bonkers.

a blessing in disguise.

2009-11-23T12:22:00.002+08:00

it makes me think.
hmm.

so there,
there is this boy,
he is called, mr amazing,
and yeah,
that preety much explains it.

(:

a girl worth kissing,is never easily kissed.

2009-11-23T11:42:00.002+08:00

hello beauties! :D

gosh,what a busy weekend.
i didnt even get enough sleep since i returned from genting.
phew.

saturday-

woke up early,got ready and went to ramesh's house.
went with vino and met surya there.
waited for a while for jas,and off to our area.
once reached,immediately did our jobs and i was working
with kasturi,and gosh,super tiring.ppfft.

rest for awhile,all of us had our lunch,and then,just sat
down and relax.around 5,went ramesh house to wash up and
get ready for our show.

around 7,went back and got ready for our show.
we all had to help out,so all of us were busy.
the PUYAL team danced,and it was super!!!!
boom sang as well,and it was damn nice. :D

the show went damn well.
saw so many vasantham artistes,and got so happy!
HAHAHH! saw many dancers as well,and many INTERESTING
people.LOL!

had our dinner,and slack all the way till 12 plus.
got tired and cabbed back home!
reached home,and again,dead on bed.

sunday-

needed to go for shooting.
met with vino/boom and jas first.
then saw ramesh/mr suresh and mrs umma.
met up with the rest as well,and had our breakfast.
all of us bused down to far east plaza,bought some
food and then cabbed to buo crescent.
went to the house and then,we started to do our jobs.
we were being filmed,but all of us were sincere and
hardworking.it was super tiring,but im sure all of us
were fucking satisfied.HAHA.
then,around 5,left and went to tiong bahru plaza.
gosh,that place holds alot of memories,man!
trained down to jurong,and off to jurong community centre.
we were invited to a show and dinner,thus we were enjoying
itself.anddd,i saw soo many people whom i know there.damn.
though the show was filled with songs,i was laughing so much
that it was fun the whole while.had our dinner,and around 10.30,
was sent back home by surya's dad.thanks uncle! :D
reached home around 11,bathed,played chess/checkers,and then
off to sleeeppppppp!!!

and im not going out today.
super tired,and just wished to slack at home.
have to clean up my utmost dirty room,which is filled
with all my half-torn books.
pppffffft.

oh waaaasaaabi,
you are in my thoughts.
shit.

if you wait too long for the perfect moment
the perfect moment will just pass you by.

so true,isnt it?

fuck.
im getting tired of certain people,
their fucking drama,
and all the bullshit they bring along.

life is fun with the right people(:

2009-11-20T20:13:00.006+08:00

hey people!

im back from genting!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

it was fucking fun.
kay,maybe not so much because we were
so full of crap,but still enjoyable.

okay,first day.

tuesday-

had to meet at 6.30am in the mrng at bpp.
i was late,sorry people,and we left.
slept at the back of the bus with yk & boom.
was thinking of someone,and gosh,my mind likes
to imagine alot of stuff uh.*fat hope!
went checkpoints,then off to MALAYSIA!!!
slept,slept,slept all the way till
GENTING!!!!!!!!!!.
reached there around 1/2,
walked around and we had our lunch!
went back to lobby and sat down,waiting to check in.
played cards/talk/camwhore and do all sorts of stuff.
aaron and boom tried to open up edwin's suitcase!
HAHAHA.
we checked in,bathed and rest in the guy's room for a while.
then,we left for bowling.HAHHA.and we didnt bowl,but we camwhore
like siao,with all the wierd ways.LOL.and then headed to haunted
house,and OMG!,its fucking scary sia.all i knew was that i was
screaming in marcus ears and asking huida to move faster.but he,
went on to scare us more,that all of us ran out.HAHAHA!
and gosh,the guy asking us to play is even mre scary.
HAHAA,sssshhhh!
then went for our dinner at pizzahut,and went to watch a magician
show.sat beside marcus,talked about some stuff and then enjoyed the
show.fun fun!walked around and then went karoake with marcus,aaron,
boom,yk and huida.we sang chinese songs,old english songs,and had
so much fun laughing.AAHHAH!then we went back to the room,and slept!
:D

wednesday-

woke up at around 6,and tried waking up the guys,but to no avail.
AHHAH.went to bathe/wash up and then waited for the rest in their room.
went down for breakfast tgt and had a hearty one!hahah!went to themepark
and bought tickets.we had a soccer formation,because of aaron's idea,
which,*cough,didnt work,AHAHAH!went to play the roller coaster.i didnt
play,cos i wasnt feeling that well,so went to watch them with yunkhim.
HAHHAA.they seem to have alot of fun!and guess what,it rained after that!
gosh,we were so irritated!hahhaa.after a while,we walked indoors,and then
the rain stopped.went to queue for pirate ship,but GAHHHH,it rained again!
by then,we got so irritated that we went for lunch.since,room 8421 was in
financial crisis,we ate cup noodles!HAHAHHA!and then,wanted to go gym
but had a afternoon nap instead.woke up,went to guys' room and sat down,
watched movie,eat and play cards.since,it was preety boring,we started to
sleep!AHHAH!

thursday-

woke up abit late,wash up/bathe,met with boys and had our breakfast!
it was still raining,so went to check up on tickets to KL with aaron/boom
and yk.then,headed down with everyone,bought tickets,and off to KL! :D
sat on teh bus for an hour,and reached there.had to take the KL train,
and gosh,the number of trains we took to reach to the shopping centre!
AHHAHA.but it was super fun.then,we split,and off to,WINDOW shopping.
ate ice-cream with boom/yk/marcus/aaron.walked around,and then,went to
TOY CITY!saw a small tiny merry-go-round,and whoo,me/boom/yk started playing
it.and then,saw the other guys,and all of us started to play on it.HAHAH!
aaron took a video,and i have pictures as well! we all looked damn comical!
HAHAHH!then,went for lunch.the guys went to carl's jr,whereas boom/yk and me
went to eat at food junction.HAHHH!ate penang kway teow and it was niceeee!
walked around with the boys again,started making jokes about MEHHHH-LOOOO!
hahahah,*inside joke! :D
trained back to the bus area,and one mre hour back to genting.
talked alot with yk,and reached hotel room!had time till about 11,so boom
slept for a while,aaron bathed,the rest went to arcade.i was learning card
games by marcus in the room with yk!hahahaha.had much fun lah,aaron joined
us and we ate hotdogs.(:
around 12,woke up boom,and washed up/bathe to go to a club.
the rest came back,and all left except me/yk/boom/aaron.we had to act like
18,and so,we went into the club.HAHAH!
ordered drinks,and just sat down and watched live band.
AHHAHAHAH.the band was crap!AHAHAHHAH!around 2,went out of the building,
and OMG,fucking cold,we walked a long distance,just for fun and to waste time.
i was talking crap with the always crappy marcus sng,and then went starbucks
cafe.sat down,played cards till 3.45.went to buy sandwiches with aaron/yk and
headed back to room cos we were quite tired.went back room,wasnt sleepy and
yk was eating cup noodles.and then,we didnt sleep till 4.45.started to do
our DIY necklace with boom/yk till 5.30.got bored,and then slept because marcus
suppose to wake us up at 6.30.HAHA!at last,slept till 9.

friday-
breakfast ended at 10,therefore hurried up,woke up huida/aaron.
we all washed up/bathe since the rest didnt sleep the whole night,
and at 7,went to eat their breakfast.AIYOOO.haha.and then,went for
breakfast,and packed our stuff.walked to watsons with boom/yk and omg,
saw her little brother!SUPERRRRRRR CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
walked around and then,walked back to hotel,took our suitcases,and
walked to the bus.HAHAH.since we all didnt sleep much,all dead in the
bus,i slept all the way till 5,and then damn awake.all us ate our small
small snacks,and then reached SINGAPOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
went back to bpp,and we all went back our seperate ways!
:D

gosh.how fun!
seriously got to know everyone there better!
:D

JUST GOT HOME,
and now blogging/facebooking and waiting for yk!
hahaha.

i have busy schedules lah!
i have to go for deepamalai/shooting this weekend,
and more to come this week!
wooo!

and pictures would be soon in facebook!
wait alrights!

ps/
sorryyy nasim/sha!
next week,we shall have our sleepover!
sorry!! :D

and YOU,

YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME,
AS YOU PLEASE.
BUT I AM WHAT I AM.
AND THATS SOMETHING,
YOU CAN NEVER EVER BE.

understood,bitch?

AHAHHAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH.
i realise,sometimes people are just abit too wierd.
they act like what they arent.
and they make me laugh.
gosh,how FAKE can you get?!

i cant wait to enjoy my weekend with my boom/vino!
longing to head out.

and oops sorryyyyy,

i forgot about you.

if only you knew the truth.

2009-11-15T19:11:00.003+08:00

hey people!

omg,at last i actually have a chance to sit down and actually
relax and also play cafe world! :D

alrights,lets start!

friday-

after final exam,at 9,met victor lee
and did some stuff.and then,headed
to bangkit with surya and yk.

then,headed home,did a small jiggle dance,
and sat on the computer.

blah blah blah.

around 1,met up with surya,rhaga,suriyan and linges.
watched 2021. ((((:

omfg!
its a fucking nice movie!!!!!!
x1000!

oh god,seriously.
i cried because i could feel myself in the situation.
fucking scary.
but,oh god,
go catch it if you can.

and then,met up with azhar,sha and nasim.
AHAHA.went to eat NAAN at jp and we went mac.
sat down,talked some funny shit and then went to library.
sat down,take newspaper and we talked and talked.
all the way to 11.

took bus back to jurong.
went sha's home,changed and then..
HAHAHA.
we didnt at all do anything much all the way till 3!
only remembered we laughed.
all wanted to watch KANDAEN KADHALAI,
but we all slept.just for a while.HAHAHA.

saturday-
nxt mrng,woke up,wash up and took breakfast at sha's house.
took bus back to boon lay with nasim.
went back home,rest and off to mosque.
HAHA.was there all the way till 6.
i had so much fun!
(:

then around 6,rushed to lot one,and then trained to yew tee.
met surya under ramesh blk,went to change,and off to deepavali
celebrations!went to sit down,and then started our help-outs.
laughed,took pics and had so much fun. (:
and then,smth happen.
ad friends,hope you all are fine.!
lepak till 12,
and then sent back by surya's dad.
reached home,dead on bed!!!

sunday-
woke up at around 6.30,
got ready and off to mosque. :D
had my jobs done,and goshhh,
hmm,erm,i saw someone,interesting!
HAHAHAHHA.

phew.
hormornes raging.
haha,soooo........*sighs.

headed home and needed to catch up with my sleep.
totally pangsei attiyah,sorry babe! (:

later,might just head out to meet important people.
HAHA.

ps/

SHALEEHHAAAAAAAAAAAA,
cheer up!!!!!!!!

and gosh,im soooo tiredd.
probably because my sleep routine is crazy these days.

and omg,
i saw YOU.
and you lookeddddd....
hmm..
lets just say,
amazing!

HAHHAHHA.
sshhhhhh.

happiness is just like a butterfly.
the more you chase it,the more it would elude you.
but if you turn your attention to other small things,
it will come and sit quietly down on your shoulder.

~~fuck off,asshole.~~

a free bird.

2009-11-13T10:50:00.001+08:00

the feeling is exhilarating.

oh god.

BYEBYE o's.
HELLO happiness.

:D

i would be back.
i have plans.
(:

the end.

2009-11-12T19:12:00.001+08:00

patience shamimah.

just 13 hrs 15 mins more.

i would be free.
(:

just wait,i would return.
*smiles widely.

saying goodbye is the worst feeling in the world.

2009-09-27T18:29:00.001+08:00

i told myself i would be a failure again.

wow.
i did it again.

i think i can get an award for
being the fucktard failure in life.

i hate myself.

i think im fucking stupid.
seriously.
fucking fucking stupid.

bye.

i might be back after o's.

but,

i dont know.
i probably wont be myself again.

i failed.

2009-08-19T11:25:00.000+08:00

i wanted to get an A.

failure in not getting what i want,is what im good at.

i never got what i wanted in life to succeed.
never.

and fuck,
i did it again.

what,you ask?

i failed again.

whats the point of dreaming/believing/having faith
when you never got anything you wanted for??!?!

its a fucked up unfair life.
it seriously is,
for a girl like me.

cant i have big dreams?
i just wanted..

an

A.

of course,
god would have been stupid to give me an A.
i probably dont deserve it.

duh.
what the fuck do i deserve?!

but i,i gotta keep trying,gotta keep my head held high.

2009-08-09T21:40:00.000+08:00

hello.

only here to wish eunice and singapore happy birthday.

firstly,
i would like to thank you for being a moral support for me these days.
i really appreciate it and you touched my heart.thanks for everything,
even making me laugh and i hope you enjoy your birthday!hope we would
remain friends forever and that i would still call u my puppy when i am
around 25 years old?!?hahahah.stay pretty aiights,and study hard.you are
clever,and u must strive for ur goals okay!no matter what,if u ever need
anything,u can call me,and i'll be there.dont worry about anything and enjoy
ur most special day just like ur special!
HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY,LOHLOH!
(im proud to have a puppy who is honourable to have same birthday as spore.)
yippeee! :D

secondly,

happy birthday singapore.
i love you.
HAHAHAHHA.

thirdly.
its a ________ asshole week.
i cant believe i went through it.
phew.

i am beginning to lose faith.
AGAIN.

my state of mind is finding out the best for me.

2009-08-02T20:29:00.001+08:00

what a weekend,man!

at last,i went to the barbeque and i had lots of fun!
i actually got a piece of mind there and laughed
alot.super fun though at times it screamed boring.
oh well.

i didnt even go for class today as i overslept and just
couldnt get up for bed.
):

2nd of august.

i will forever remember this day.
the day i performed twice proudly.
:D

libra-
Nice to everyone they meet.
Their Love is one of a kind.
Silly, fun and sweet.
Have own unique appeal.
Most caring person you will ever meet!
However, not the kind of person you wanna mess with...
You might end up crying..

(got it from a email!)

HAHAHA.the last sentence very funny.

im bored!
i have nothing to do!
))):

and alah,madhavi d/o nanthabala,
doesnt mean i understand one question,
i can do all you know?!?!

like She said,

" if there is nothing inside,there will always be nothing."

damnnnation.
all her words are floating around in my head you know.
i have no idea why i cant memorise notes,but all these
things would be stuck to my brain.gosh.-.-

` i can almost see it,
that dream i am dreaming
but there's a voice inside my head
saying,you will never reach it.

every step im taking
every move im make feels
lost with no direction
my faith is shaking.

gaahhhhhhhhh.
i can tell you.
it sucks not being able to do
what others can.

did you forget that i was even alive?

2009-07-31T20:30:00.000+08:00

its friday!
yes,at last.

had english prelim oral today.
was fun as i played a fun game introduced by denyce.
had fun with surya,loh loh,marcus,denyce,zhiyi and ben.
HHAHA. :D
thn chatted here and there.
then was my turn.^^
was kinda scary but i think i was okay.
i have no idea.
which is always the worst part.
hais.

there is a barbeque tomorrow and im wondering if i should go.
i seem to be doing so many things nowadays that i dont have
enough time to study,thats how i feel that is.damn.but i would
soon!night-study is coming and im going to study there,thats for
sure!

i dont know if i can actually be my normal self again.i hate it when
that particular teacher keeps throwing darts at people who cant do
amaths.that doesnt mean i have nothing in my brain,does it?just because
i cant get it,and yes,not putting in my 100% effort,doesnt mean i cant
do it?people have been asking me not to do it,but i have no idea.
thats the bloody asshole problem.
cant seem to make decisions.
and i dont want to regret.

it has happened before.

p4,i was stuck in situation where i had to choose if i wanted to take
higher-mother tongue.

what i chose?NO.

and now,im regretting.

sec2,i was stuck on whether to chose home econs or bio.

what i chose?BIO.

cant say im regretting,but cant say im aceing in it either.

thats the problem with me!
i cant seem to make any proper decisions before thinking so much!
and i hate it when i think because my mind is like a damn mindmap
where it branches out to everything,god knows what!gaaaahhhh!

i realise i have a phobia of pain,rejection and regretting.
damnation.

i have no idea what im blogging about because i just needed to let it out.
and i want someone to help me,anyone!

and thank you madhavi,
for teaching me amaths.
it meant alot to me.

ps/

on a lighter note,

i did something super brave today!
cant believe i did it though.
*clap hands.

" happy birthday! "
HAHAHAHAHHA.
i have no idea how old you are though.
AHAHHAHA.
damn funny.-.-

im confused.
should i go the barbeque??!?!

damn it lah,
cant even make a simple decision!
aiyoooo!

pps/ i seriously dont like you anymore.if only my stubborn heart agrees.
whenever i see you,i feel the pain.

only i know you like the back of my hand.

2009-07-30T21:02:00.000+08:00

i was in a very good mood to blog.
but i lost it once i realised something.
really pushed me off the limit.

and im so stressed,seriously.
cant seem to do anything right nowadays.
at least there are some people who care.
thats enough to make me smile like marcus
who sings horribly,but still made me smile!
HAHAHHAH.

i cant seem to make any decisions also.
i am not sure if i should say yes?
i am not sure if i am making the right decision?
i am not sure if its the right time?
i am not sure if i would regret or not?
i am not sure if im doing the right thing?
i am not sure if i am sure of anything!

damnation bull,man!

ps/gosh.stop being a follower.start up your new trend or smth.
why?COS ITS FUCKING PISSING ME OFF.

AND.
YOU TALK.
BUT YOU DONT DO IT.
SO,WHY SHOULD OTHERS?

AND,I MIGHT LOVE YOU BACK.
I THINK.
I HAVE NO IDEA.

how do you know if you are making the right decisions
when you never had the feeling of satisfaction from
making all the others?

when you look me in the eyes,

2009-07-27T20:52:00.000+08:00

hello people!

what a monday.-.-

had normal school hours.
boring.

and then,had physics ect.
and it super sucked.
i guess its my fate to never be seriously happy
after a damned physics paper.
HAHAHHAHA.
oh god.
hopefully i just pass or something.
hopefully i will be happy.
oh well.

vinothini-
takecareeeeeeeee.
nothing will happen to u,
and u will be as strong as a horse soon!
must hang outttttt.
i miss youuuuuuuuuuu! :D

whoopie,
ben/bryan have returned to school.
happy that everyone is healthy.

and last but not least,

hui weilin.

happy 16th birthday.

i love you.
and though i feel you have changed,
due to some stuff,i will always be there
for you.dont worry about anything,if u
ever need to talk,just call me,and i would
be there,just to listen to you.
im sorry if i havent been hanging out with u
lately,but friendship doesnt require close
distance,baby!dont worry about anything aiights,
boys suck.remember man,and i/munting/cassie will
be there,always.
takecare,babe.
and enjoy your special day!
love youuuuuu. :D

ps/i wanted to make it special with ur photo and everything,
BUT DAMNNNNNATION BLOGGER IS HAVING PROBLEMS.AGAIN.

whatever it is,
enjoy you day,lovely!

i cant wait for the weekends.

pretending,when the fuck is it going to end?

2009-07-25T20:29:00.000+08:00

i hate you.

i hate you for everything you have lied about.
i hate you for everything you did.
i hate you for pretending.
i hate you for saying that you loved me,
but you didnt.

and i f____king hate ur attitude,man!
pissing me off.
damn you.

take my hand,and take a breath.

2009-07-24T18:07:00.003+08:00

beautiful lies.
but a broken heart.
myabe,you are not worthy anymore,

or it might be me,

not worthy of you anymore.

I throw all of your stuff away
Then I clear you our of my head
I tear you out of my heart
And ignore all your messages
I tell everyone we got through
Because I’m so much better without you
But it's just another pretty lie cause I break down
Every time you come around.
So how do you get here under my skin
I swore that I’d never let you back in
Should of known better
Been trying let you go cause here we go.
Hard as I try I know I cant quit
Something about you is so addicting
We’re falling together
You think that by now I know cause here we go once again.
You never know what you want
And you never say what you mean
But I start to go insane
Every time that you look at me
You only hear half of what I say
And you’re always showing up too late
And I know that I should say good bye, but it’s no use
Can’t be with or without you.
Again..
and again,
and again,
and again,
and again,
and again…

damn.
):

one of those days where its time to let it all out.

LOH LOH.

2009-07-23T21:22:00.001+08:00

LOH LOH ACTING CUTE IN CLASS LEHH!

HAHAH.
AND HER BEAUTIFUL PHOTO,TSKTSK.
EVERY NIGHT I LOOK AT IT,AND GO TO SLEEP.

HAHAHAHHAHA.

(:

LOH LOH IS THE BEST !

its alright,its okay.

2009-07-22T19:11:00.002+08:00

mt listening compre was just okay.
hope i didnt get more than 2 wrong.
i am sure everyone would do well.

vinothini,
get well soon babe!
miss talking shit with you.

and YOUUUUU,
bloody bitch.
seriously spoil my mood for the whole day.
asshole,go fuck him if you want.
dont show it off to me!

gaaaahhh.
i practically had to sleep just to cool myself down.
-.-

irritating attitude sia!
seriously.

and yes,im not over you.
how pathetic.

mundane?

2009-07-21T21:33:00.002+08:00

#1.racial harmony day was awesome,(not every part,but it was fun!)

#2.i have a strong feeling im going to flop my ect.AGAIN.*history repeats.

#3.i am going to scream out loud if i ever see you and her talk about me again.

#4.i love my class.

#5.mt listening compre is tmrw.freaking out.*bites fingernails.

#6.homework/stress is killing me.

#7.save up money for,*cough,*cough.HAHAHA.

#8.seeing the cute english...*ahem,excites me.

#9.benedict,get well soon!dont worry,nth will happen!

#10.congratulations salihan on winning the grss idol! i knew u can do it!

#11.im deeply hurt.

#12.i seem to be growing fatter.

#13.i miss the dumb-ass,parthiban.

#14.i cant seem to make up my mind.

#15.im not okay.

good luck 4e1 on ur mt listening compre!

take care ben!

congrats salihan!!! :D

ps/ good nights,shamimah.

-.-

walk the final journey alone.

2009-07-14T19:09:00.002+08:00

damn.

hating everything.

i cant wait for everything to be over and done with.
waiting for everything to crash and fall.
cant wait.*bitch smile.

parthiban,
UPDATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
*smiles.

disgusting.
horribly.

if u cant,means u cant.
dont try.
i can see through it.-.-

short term memory lapses.

2009-07-06T20:45:00.001+08:00

before i forget,

happy birthday hisham!!!!!!

thanks for everything,friend.
miss chatting with you!

enjoy ur day! :D

stupid.

2009-07-06T20:40:00.003+08:00

i feel so down.
i feel so sad.
i feel so fucked up.
i feel so sick.

i feel like dying.

and,i seriously am,

damn fucking(x100) times stupid.

seriously.

fucked up life.

p/s, if you dont realise it,you exaggerate so much.
its super irritating.damn.

and yey,parthiban come back liaos!
miss u lah deh!
come see me soon.
i have stories of ~~backstabbing~~ issus to tell u!
HAHHAHA.

im feeling extra stupid now.
i dont know why.i almost felt like burning
all my bks away.just cant seem to study.
feel like crying and cutting myself.

scold me all you want.
you fucking dont care.

fucked up world.

2009-07-05T18:18:00.004+08:00

im done.

stupid oral.stupid teacher.stupid tongue.stupid mouth.stupid speech.
stupid pronounciation.stupid MOE.stupid olevels.stupid tears.stupid
life.stupid me.

im sinking,once again.

feeling so down.

and,i have fever
because,
of some stupid thing i did.

i wonder.

why am i studying?
when i have no brains to?

even if i have,
why cant i seem to put it to use?
why aint i doing well?
why am i always letting myself down?
why do i always cry?
why am i never happy with my results?
why do i always feel stupid?
why do i always see failures?

why do i never taste success?

im sure the rest will do well.

im fucking sure i wont.
stupid me.*slaps myself hard.

sick.
cant fetch my parthiban from airport.
sad life.-.-

i was so full of hope.
but,it didnt help.

so whats the point of,

believing?

if only promises could be kept.

2009-07-01T21:44:00.002+08:00

olevel oral tomorrow.

freaking out.

hopefully,i can do it.

i usually have no hope,but i will have now
because i am "motivated" by marcus sng.

scared.
*cross fingers and pray hard.

i can do it,can i?

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE TAKING THE MOTHER TONGUE O'LEVELS ORAL!
MUST DO WELL OKAYY!DEFINETE CAN...IM SURE OUR CLASS WOULD DO WELL.
GOOD LUCK PEOPLEEEEEE.

ON A SPECIAL NOTE,

TO MARCUS,

u better get B4 or above okay.
you definete can one..
think of the $$!!!
ahahha.
and eh,i motivate u,so i expect 25%..
hahahahhaah.
good luck!!!! :D

TO SURYA,

you can do it.
im sure.
i have faith.
you should have it too.
dont worry too much.

TO MADHAVI,

im sure you can do it as well.
i have confidence in you.
you can.

TO YUNKHIM,

u better talk okay!!
must get A or B.
you can one lahhhh.
im sureeeee.

to the REST,

i dont know ur weaknesses,
but i wish you guys my heartfelt wishes.
we are as one,
and dont fail ur mother tongue,people.

we can do it.
*grins.

thinking of you..

2009-06-29T20:46:00.002+08:00

thinking of it,until i saw her come online,
then i realised i forgot to blog about it.

congrats chua yun khim on being vice-chairman
of 4e1!!!

wooo.
hahhahahaha.

must act like one okay.
^^.

need help,
ask madhavi!

(:

how can things get better?

2009-06-29T19:32:00.002+08:00

hey!

first day of school after holidays.
gosh,torturous..=.=

first up,when i entered the school with yunkhim/vino,
i was shocked to look upon teachers wearing masks walking
around patrolling the gate?!?!?!

scary man.-.-

well.took temp and heaed to new classroom.
freaking small.what kind of place is that.
grr.-.-

sat down and chatted and actually,we did nth.
HAHA.

and then,had some lessons.
and mdm heng said our classroom cost $10 000.

didnt expect it.
*snicker.

then had some thoughts.
should i?
or should i not?

i have no idea.

once again,i feel very very ~~stupid.~~.

i need to reply tags.
its been long.

maple: wad ultra-seductive ?? woah.. i feel so.. hmmm *lick lips*

shamimah: HAHHA.-.-

Shehnaz(: :tagged ! love you dearst ! will keep in touch okay! chatting with you was like reliving those memories again(: takecre ! you have a superb blog!

shamimah: awwh.i love u too.we need to hang out soon! :D

parthiban:thangatchi,imy!got alot of confusion going on.so wait and see!he still likes u!i love you!

shamimah:HAHAH.no,dont be stupid lah.HAHA.ly too bro.

Cassie:My life would suck without you ! =D

shamimah: mine too babe. :D

parthiban:thangatchi,i have news!hot hot news.call pannu!

shamimah:HAHA.i know alrdy.

sam:hey sham!good luck for mt yea..LOVE YOU.

shamimah:hey.sorry for late reply.and yes,gd luck for ur oral!:D

atique:thx good like for ur mt paper nxt week! =]

shamimah:you too.ily!:D

j-bro:oh yarh gd luckkie 4 ur mt.you should get a A1/A2!you can do it.**** care those who dunt blieeve in u.
ehkk sister.that someone really lieks u.from olwaes.since you with sumone.;P call hym.

shamimah:HAHHA.awhh.thanks,man.so long never see u siah.AHHA.ily!:D

Marcus:believe! (:

shamimah: i am now,thanks to you!(:

sam:hey sham!!TAGGED...wish u luck for ur resultS.

shamimah: hey sam!haha.thanks.same to u! :D

parthiban:he ask u for stead right?haha i know already larh.enakku teriyaamaiyaa!dont worry okay.after olevels paathukuvoom.takecaire.

shamimah: shut up can anot?dont talk alot lah!aiyooooo.

maple:am i missing something here ??? shamimah .. i'm waiting for an explaination -.-

shamimah: nth lah.he always talk crap one.(:

parthiban:ellathiyu sollithiya?erukka mudiyadu!nee yaaru padthi sonnae?,i improving tamil!someone veri kapo larh!;P
chumma maple.shamimah is in love.kadhal vanthirichu aasaiyil oudi vanthannn!kock larh!paarthukorh shami!
and that bytch replied and its irritating going to have a fight soon la die already.why never update?busy with,,,,,who?(=

shamimah: you seriously need to learn how to shut up la!haha.

atique:hey sham! thx for being so concerned but i can assure you i have nothing to be sad about becoz i have great frens like you =] ily!!

shamimah: awwhhh.thanks.ily too!!

sam:heyheyheyhey!thanks for the tag.blog updated.

shamimah: hey!okok!:D

sam: heyheyhey..say YES..sam..eh..i anyhow one ah..i dun even know whtacha talking about.LOL.

shamimah: huh?!?HAHAH.me too,dont understand. (:

maple:eh wad sia .. vain??? its called, dressin up

shamimah: HAHHA.still vain right?!?!

surya(:SHAMI!!

shamimah: HELLO!!!!! (:

parthiban:***** sial.after everything still liek that.please say yes!please.how is imran ah shamimah????lols!

shamimah: my fault meh?go talk to her lah.HAHA.dont be nonsense lah.-.-

maple:ugaga!!!! LOL !! see my blog ! =) gagalalaboo !!! 5nami BOO !!! && my fave, ethane ethanoate ! =)

shamimah: HAHAHHAH.seen. (:

maple:eh ... he not my admirer la !! aiyo ..haha ! i scared !

shamimah: thats life madhavi,accept ur admirers.HAHAHA.

sam:TAGTAG!tag my blog too

shamimah: HAHA,ok.

iman:SHAMIII! hahaha. I bored sia. you crazy. k bye

shamimah: HAHAH.imy man!!

Guest:hello nice blog

shamimah: thanks.

parthiban:miss you.im sure imran oso!=)

shamimah: i will miss you too when i kill u sooner or later.

Eunice:eh stupid girl! How's simon?? HAHAS!!!

shamimah: AHHAH.i have no idea.hee.

Marcus:Father day's everyday if you love him. (: take care..

shamimah: HAHHA.true enough.u tc too!

sam:I LOVE CAMP!!!

shamimah: HAA.me too. :D

Surya:HAHA marcuss. he can be philosopher like junjie HAHA xD shami update beb!

shamimah: HAHAHA,yes...

parthiban:imran imran imran!lol.i see you todae okay!takecare!!!! =)

shamimah: shut up lah idiot.HAHHA.

E.: Eh stupid girl! YOU STUDYING? ._.

shamimah: yo crazy girl! haha,yes,unfortunately.(:

parthiban:shamimah MIA.go sutturan with her bf larh,,,

shamimah: EHHH,WHO HERE HAVE GF UH?!?!!?!?

maple:aiyo ! whr ur vannessa ah bird ?

shamimah: HAHHA.

Jasmine:Hello Sham! Stay happy. (:

shamimah: hello! you too! (:

Glenn:Shamimah,I miss you!

shamimah: imy too glenn! ((:

sam:shami sigh..i dunno if i shud wear mask lehhh...........mondayy.
nvm.anw miss u.see you on monday!i need my daily dosage of shami-ness!!!
LOL!

shamimah: HAHA.up to you babe.but hey,imy too! :D

weilin:wah nice ah you go and say madonna until like that LOL

shamimah: AHHAHHAHA.true what.

YK:U scared u hv H1N1? Y do so much research? See u 2morrow. Sch finally reopen!

shamimah: YAHHH,i scared leh.hahah.cya! :D

imran:heylo! nice blog you have there.takecare and see you real soon.good luck for your prelims and study real hard.you can do it.dont worry and byes!

shamimah: oh hey!how you find my blog uh?haha.thanks and you takecare and good luck for ur mt oral too!bye! :D

Surya:surfer beb! xD laalalaal

shamimah: HAHHA.what??haha.

end of it,man!
omg.so many.
HHAHHAHA.
shows how lazy i am.-.-

this is exactly how i feel about you.
no matter what people say about you,
i think you are perfect.

and i am just not worth of you.
someone better will be there.
just for you.

random.

2009-06-26T21:41:00.001+08:00

and madonna said,

i am crying over and over again
when i heard the news of his death.MICHAEL
jackson was a fabulous person.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHA.
crying over and over?!?!?!?1

exaggeration siahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

important.

2009-06-26T20:44:00.003+08:00

okay.
i need to blog out two things.
important,in my mind,that is.

1st one.

michael jackson.

oh my god.
take a deep breath.
now scream.

he passed away.
who,you ask?!?!??!?!?!

michael jackson.

omg.
he is like the biggest popstar on planet lahhhh.
everyone loved him.
okay,maybe not everyone lahh.
but still,tsk tsk.

LOS ANGELES – Michael Jackson, defined in equal parts as the world's greatest entertainer and perhaps its most enigmatic figure, was about to attempt one of the greatest comebacks of all time. Then his life was cut shockingly — and so far, mysteriously — short.

The 50-year-old musical superstar died Thursday, just as he was preparing for what would be a series of 50 concerts starting July 13 at London's famed 02 arena. Jackson had been spending hours and hours toiling with a team of dancers for a performance he and his fans hoped would restore his tarnished legacy to its proper place in pop.

how sad.
his life just went off like that.

Cardiac arrest is an abnormal heart rhythm that stops the heart from pumping blood to the body. It can occur after a heart attack or be caused by other heart problems.

its a mystery how come he never knew he had this heart problem.
or did he?
okay,that im not sure.
but walau,so sad.

my father also very sad.

RIP m.j.

):

okay.
next topic.

h1n1 flu

this bloody flu is scaring me.

omg.
its seriously scary.

in singapore,
there are over 300 cases.

What is H1N1 flu (swine flu)?
H1N1 influenza is a respiratory disease of pigs caused by type A influenza viruses that causes regular outbreaks in pigs. People do not normally get swine flu, but human infections can and do happen. Swine flu viruses have been reported to spread from person-to-person, but in the past, this transmission was limited and not sustained beyond three people.

Is this H1N1 flu virus contagious?
CDC has determined that this H1N1 influenza A virus is contagious and is spreading from human to human. However, at this time, it is not known how easily the virus spreads between people.

What are the signs and symptoms of H1N1 flu in people?
The symptoms of H1N1 flu in people are similar to the symptoms of regular human flu and include fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. Some people have reported diarrhea and vomiting associated with H1N1 flu.

How does H1N1 flu spread?
Spread of this H1N1 influenza A virus is thought to be happening in the same way that seasonal flu spreads. Flu viruses are spread mainly from person to person through coughing or sneezing of people with influenza. Sometimes people may become infected by touching something with flu viruses on it and then touching their mouth or nose.

How can someone with the flu infect someone else?
Infected people may be able to infect others beginning 1 day before symptoms develop and up to 7 or more days after becoming sick. That means that you may be able to pass on the flu to someone else before you know you are sick, as well as while you are sick.

What should I do to keep from getting the flu?
First and most important: wash your hands. Try to stay in good general health. Get plenty of sleep, be physically active, manage your stress, drink plenty of fluids, and eat nutritious food. Try not touch surfaces that may be contaminated with the flu virus. Avoid close contact with people who are sick.

Are there medicines to treat H1N1 flu?
Yes. CDC recommends the use of oseltamivir (tamilflu) or zanamivir (relenza) for the treatment and/or prevention of infection with these H1N1 influenza viruses. Antiviral drugs are prescription medicines (pills, liquid or an inhaler) that fight against the flu by keeping flu viruses from reproducing in your body. If you get sick, antiviral drugs can make your illness milder and make you feel better faster. They may also prevent serious flu complications. For treatment, antiviral drugs work best if started soon after getting sick (within 2 days of symptoms).

How long can an infected person spread H1N1 flu to others?
People with H1N1 influenza virus infection should be considered potentially contagious as long as they are symptomatic and possible for up to 7 days following illness onset. Children, especially younger children, might potentially be contagious for longer periods.

What surfaces are most likely to be sources of contamination?
Germs can be spread when a person touches something that is contaminated with germs and then touches his or her eyes, nose, or mouth. Droplets from a cough or sneeze of an infected person move through the air. Germs can be spread when a person touches respiratory droplets from another person on a surface like a desk and then touches their own eyes, mouth or nose before washing their hands.

How long can viruses live outside the body?
We know that some viruses and bacteria can live 2 hours or longer on surfaces like cafeteria tables, doorknobs, and desks. Frequent handwashing will help you reduce the chance of getting contamination from these common surfaces.

What can I do to protect myself from getting sick?
There is no vaccine available right now to protect against H1N1 flu. There are everyday actions that can help prevent the spread of germs that cause respiratory illnesses like influenza. Take these everyday steps to protect your health:

Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it. If you do not have a tissue, cough or sneze into your sleeve.
Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective.
Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way.
Try to avoid close contact with sick people.
If you get sick with influenza, stay home from work or school and limit contact with others to keep from infecting them.
What is the best way to keep from spreading the virus through coughing or sneezing?
If you are sick, limit your contact with other people as much as possible. Do not go to work or school if ill. Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when coughing or sneezing. It may prevent those around you from getting sick. Put your used tissue in the waste basket. Cover your cough or sneeze if you do not have a tissue. Then, clean your hands, and do so every time you cough or sneeze.

What should I do if I get sick?
If you live in areas where H1N1 influenza cases have been identified and become ill with influenza-like symptoms, including fever, body aches, runny nose, sore throat, nausea, or vomiting or diarrhea, you may want to contact their health care provider, particularly if you are worried about your symptoms. Your health care provider will determine whether influenza testing or treatment is needed.

If you are sick, you should stay home and avoid contact with other people as much as possible to keep from spreading your illness to others.

If you become ill and experience any of the following warning signs, seek emergency medical care.

In children emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

Fast breathing or trouble breathing
Bluish skin color (for fair tones) and grayish skin color (for darker tones)
Not drinking enough fluids
Not waking up or not interacting
Being so irritable that the child does not want to be held
Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough
Fever with a rash
In adults, emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath
Pain or pressure in the chest or abdomen
Sudden dizziness
Confusion
Severe or persistent vomiting

How serious is H1N1 flu infection?
Like seasonal flu, H1N1 flu in humans can vary in severity from mild to severe.

scary man.
i also heard frm new cases that,
without having fever,
you can still get h1n1 leh.
omg lahhhh.
die already lahhhh.

thats damn scary.
aiyoh.-.-

and now,

RP AND NYP ARE CLOSING DOWN LEHHHH.

\

my cousin has been quarantined.
my friends also.
so scary.*cries.

haiz.
what a world.

and guess whattttt.
stop pretending bitch.
no matter what,you cant get HIM.
because he doesnt want you.
get it??!?!?
stop showing off everything you have.
because trust me,it doesnt work.

hate me all you want.
i dont fucking care.

screwed up.

2009-06-24T22:20:00.002+08:00

just when i thought,
i might be getting well in life.
going to try and do well in school,

you ~~fucking~~ come and mess it up.

Sometimes I wonder how's it gonna feel
Will my first love be true and real
Will I be ready when my heart starts to fall
What will I do when my love comes to call
And my daddy tells me that I light up his world
Everday he says, "Darlin you're my best girl."
He tried to teach me from the very start
The meaning of love so nobody breaks my heart
Will my love come in a bowl of fire
Will it be filled with hope and desire
Will my love come in the pourin rain
Am I ready for the joy
Am I ready for the pain
Am I ready for the boy
Am I ready for love...
I know I'm not a little girl anymore
Cause I'm feelin things I've never felt before
Sweet sensations and anticipations
Calling commotion to my emotions
And I hear the words my daddy said to me
He said be true to yourself and keep your spirit free
And love will find you one way or another
Be good to yourself and be good to eachother
Will my love come in a bowl of fire
Will it be filled with hope and desire
Will my love come in the pourin rain
Am I ready for the joy
Am I ready for the pain
Am I ready for the boy
Am I ready for love...
It's a run around the world and it's movin so fast
Though I wanna find a love that's gonna last
A love so strong that it can withstand
The weight of this world in the palm of it's hand.

i want to cry.
let my heart out.

no one understands how i feel.
why should it be me?

i need my dose of mr.parthiban.
that bloody guy at india now.
dont know what he doing there also.
-.-

tears.
will it ever dry up?
i want to never cry for a guy ever again.
because i am never having one.

100% committed sia!!!(:

2009-06-15T10:00:00.004+08:00

hello!

its been long since i blogged.
but hey,its all for the good.

MOTIVATIONAL CAMP 09.

i loved it.
though i found it boring at times.
it was really goooddddd.
and i love 4E1 to the maximum!!! :D

lets start!!!1
*long post.
very detailed.
serious! :D

1st day-FRIDAY.

reached school preety early with yunkhim/surya/vinothini.
waited for eunice,marcus and headed to black box.
we had to take temperature and then we were seated.
and,our master trainer,ADRIAN started talking to us.
and he was super funny!keep on laughing sia.we were
then asked to go to a class,2e4,for our activities.
headed there and found out that our instructors were
SIMON and VICKI.

we started introducing ourselves and then we played
games.grr.the first game irritated me because i was
always caught.HAHHA.but damn fun.after the games,
we started to learn how to prioritise.and then,LUNCH.
lunch wasnt really great,so ate quite alittle.but
4e1 bonded sia.everywhere also,sit together!!!
went back to class,and we did terminology and vocabulary.
and it was very useful,now i know how to spell
difficult words sia!*like real.haha.and then,we were
transported to black box,where we were given study skills
for every subject by adrain.and then,DINNER.dinner was good.
we were also given homework as to write a essay to show our
commitment! very fun and super useful.and then,reflections time!
had talks with vicki and we got to know her better.she actually very fun. :D
then,HOMEDDD!!!!
and did the essay.-.-

2nd day-saturday

went school with the same cool people again!HAHAHA.
reached black box and talked with weilin while waiting
for adrain.passed up the essay and then,
started some motivational spirits by talking.went back
to class.and was given a lecture by simon.we then played a
memory game,and YUNKHIM and JUNJIE got in for the competition.
woohooo!but i think the memory skills work.i still can rememeber!
and then,
before we knew it,LUNCH TIMEEEEE.ate,ate,ate! :D

eunice left halfway.and so,was left with yunkhim/surya.
we did mindmaps and were taught how to do it properly.
took most of the day but it was worthwhile!!!!
had dinner,and it was delicious!!!
headed back to black box for adrain.and guess whatt,
BENJAMIN started shouting and scolding us for not
performing well and why are we not.i cried as he talked
about parents,how they feel.and i realised my mistake.
i have to do well.
I MADE UP MY MIND!
i cried some more because i needed to let it all out.
and marcus,surya,yunkhim were there for me.
thanks to marcus for stopping my tears.
thanks to surya for making me laugh.
thanks to yunhkim for just being there for me.

i headed to bpp after that to buy fathers' day present
for my father.YES.i would come back to this later.
headed home.and hugged my mum.*cries.
i then slept. :d

3rd day-sunday

headed to school.
didnt want the camp to end!!! :D
black box,temperature taking and back to classroom.
had fun with simon and vicki.
they are really nice people.
we learnt about sQ3r.
and it was fun.my group was eunice,yk.surya and marcus.
we did mindmaps and sQ3r with BIOLOGYYYY!!!
fun,though we were the last to finish.

headed for lunch.
AND GUESS WHATTTTT.
no food.
HAHAHAHAHHA.
very funny.

( eunice,me,surya,yunkhim headed down.)
*takes plates.

Benjamin: sorry arh.no more food.have to wait a while.
eunice: huh?!?!?!?
surya: walau.
me: aiya.sit lah,sit.

then we all sat down with only the ingredients and no rice.
haha.eunice and surya started to eat the ingredients while
we all laughed like crazy.waited a while and yk had stomach
ache.and all the instructors cared for her like crazy.
was nice to see such good instructors.
then,the rice came.
we all dug in,though cant say it was very nice.
but we finished it,because they went through alot of
trouble trying to get for us the rice.
had talks with instructors,laughed and then,headed back
to black box.had memory skills competition.and cheered
for yk and jj.they won and were ready for the next round.

went back to classroom and we had to do cards for our parents.
all of us did,and all of cried.we all were sentimental,thanks
to simon's music.then,finished the cards and surya,me and eunice
took photos!chatted with yunkhim and dinner time!!!!
the food wasnt bad,okay lah,and then those whose parents were
coming had to stay in the canteen.so said byes to yunkhim
and stayed at the canteen with surya,eunice and marcus.
this was the fun part,for we were crapping like hell.
super fun,keep on laughing,took videos and pictures. :D
and then,i had actually made a fathers' day card a few days
before and brought it to school to give it to him.
but there were second thoughts as people didnt know when was
fathers day.

it was so scary lah!people said calender
wrote nxt week,but it was today.some said the opposite.
so irritating and i panicked like crazy.eunice and surya
calmed me down.and at last i thought,just give la.better
early.HAHAH.

went to black box quietly as our parents were there.
all of us were so scared and nervous.
went in,and gave our cards to them.saw so many parents
cry.my mum too.i felt like crying but i laughed.hAHAHA.
sat with sameen,surya and eunice and waited for the memory
skills last competition to begin.cheered for yk and jj.
but we didnt win.NEVRMIND.they had fun,i suppose.then,
there was a photo montage and so many of our faces.hAHAHAHA.
we said our graduation pledge and voila,the camp was over!
asked my parents to head down first because we had some things
to discuss.i hugged vicki and keep on shaking hands with simon.
so fun siah the whole camp.everyone was reluctant to leave.no
student wanted to leave.took group pictures,said our thanks
to adrain,benjamin,vicki and simon.couldnt find the CUTE guy
lehh,eunice!!!!haha.

in the whole.
the camp was super fun.
and super duper useful.
and we made so many new friends.
new laughter and new tears.
i am also motivated.
very actually.
because,

i want to be who i can be.
i can.
so why not?

i am sure many other agree with me.
its all in the mind.*adrians' fave phrase.
HAHA.
missed this whole camp.
and i am glad that we may have follow-up
for whoever who came! happy sia.can study
and crap with simon/vicki.
yippeee!

had fun lahhh.
and i bonded with eunice,my crazy girl!!!!
had fun with surya/marcus/yunkhim.

missed this camp like crazy.
met with dad/mum/sisters and headed to bp
for dinner.i didnt eat and they all tucked
in.went home and i gave my father his
presents.could see he was touched.
who cares whether fathers' day was yst or nxt week!
HAHAHHAHA.

im tired.
and im going to study.
whoooooooo!

happy holidays everyone.!!!!

:D

alamaaaakkk,
i miss simon.
HAHHAHAHAHHAHAH.
*eunice,surya,yunkhim knows.
sssshhhh.

is it ever time to say goodbye?

2009-06-08T19:54:00.002+08:00

hello!

today had school!
about 5/6 hours of english!
somehow torturing but enriching.

first,had ms ruby's lesson.
it was fun,and i learnt how to not
use boring intros!!!!

then,it was mr rozells' lesson.
fun.
nothing else to say.*smiles.

then we had a practice paper.
i was so tired.and i didnt finish it.
gaah.who cares!

then,went home with weilin/yunkhim/surya and vino.
met iman at lot one.
ate and we chatted.
its been long since we hang out.
i miss you two!
with munting also!(:

and,

mind your own fcuking business,man.

seriously.
some people have no life.

im tired.
and im procastinating my homework!
grrrrrrr.

back to the start!

2009-06-07T19:45:00.002+08:00

hello everyone!

im back from DRAMA CAMP 09!
it was very fun.i had so much fun,endless
perhaps,and i love drama club!!!!from the
bottom of my heart!:D

back to the start,yea?

saturday.

met up with munting,vivian,weilin,surya
and annisa.AT LAST SIAAA.i was late.haha.
but not that late.then,all eat breakfast.
and,i bought toothbrush for iman.and yes,
going to ask the same question annisa asked,
"HOW CAN YOU FORGET SIA?"haha.she damn cute!:D
then saw someone(grr!),and reached school!

went up to the black box.and met up with iman
and madhavi!missed crapping with all of them
like shit!then,we sat together and had our
temperature taken.and then,we got seperated into
groups.one of the groups were the seniors!

we played some games at first.charades,and we had fun!
we were splitted into groups.and my group was,

MR BEAN!!!!!

GROUP MEMBERS:me,iman,weilin,cassie,vivian,madhavi,vanessa,
jannah,rosabelle and amreet.
and then,we played treasure hunt.
HAHAH,and this was one of the most fun hunting session i had
because we had to find the weirdest stuff.
like,5 strands of hair?HAHAHHAH.(vivian,thanks arh!(: )
and then,we didnt win,but nevermind la.
we had tons of fun.

and then,LUNCH TIMEEEE!
i ate with madhavi and the rest.
super fun though.

and then,we played some more games!
and then,GETTING READY FOR ELECTRA!!!!!
we hurried,and went to get ready.
we were kinda late,because we are vain
girls.HAHA.and then,had to rush with dinner
like crazyyyyyy!then on the way to victoria
theatre!!!!!

we watched,electra.
and erm,i dont know what to say.
some parts were funny.but i was scared.
and just talked with madhavi.

we returned to school.
washed up.
and had night activities!
was very fun!
haha.i was screaming like crazy!!!!!

returned back to black box.
and we just talked.
eat.
and crapped.

slept inbetween amelia and madhavi,
with surya above me.HAHAHHA.sounds wrong.
and walau,i couldnt sleep.then,i think
i slept around 2?
not sure sia!

sunday.
woke up at 6 or something,

because of rosepriya's alarm!

what the hell.
then,went to bath and wash up.
headed for breakfast.(bread with nutella!)

then we practised for our grad show!
and then,had to perform a spoof(spelled like that?)
of electra.HAHAHHA.annisa damn funny.
i think she very good for the role sia!

we did our performance.
but like crap sia!AHAHAHHAH.

then,we performed the seniors' show.
and i think we rocked it.
hahaha.*felt like crying from then!

then,we watched the video that chermaine did for us.
and i was touched.i cried too.and i know many people
did.THANKS CHERMAINE!!!!! (:

and then,we had the hand over ceremony!
me and madhavi got certificates sehhhhh!
just for buying cakes!hahahha.

eh,i know,you know!! :D

everyone had certificates too lah.
and was so touched.
mr bean got second for competitions,
and we chose M&Ms.(:

then,we hugged,cried,took pictures
and headed homeeee!

was raining,so wait for it to stop.
then headed home with munting,surya
and weiling.

drama camp was fun.
and i wish more seniors came.

i would never forget all my fun moments i had in drama!
from sec one all the way to now!!!!!!!!!
seriously.
love everyone of you in drama club!

thanks for making my life fulfilling!
im definetely coming back though,to
see my friends and the rest!

i gonna cry already!):

/pictures will be up on facebook soon,okay!!!

ps/TOMORROW SCHOOL!
i lazy to go.
but i will go!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHHAHAHAHAH.

people arent who they show themselves as.

2009-06-05T20:12:00.002+08:00

hello!

im running short for time.
i havent pack my bag for camp
yet!and i have to go meet someone
now.grr.

btw,

I JUST WATCHED NEW MOON TRAILER.
AND OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG,
ITS SOOOOOOO COOL.
YEY!
HAHA.AS IN,GIVES ME MEMORIES.
*WINKS.

and,

should i say yes?
should i?
would it last?

all because of you lah parthiban!
walau.

and.
i wasted everything.
fuck yourself,hard,hard,hard!

eew.bitch.
leave my friend alone.

andddddd,
i miss my iman siol!
:D

and i would only be me when i want to be.

2009-06-04T20:12:00.000+08:00

nonsense.

im having a hard time making a ktm blog with everyone's
requests.aiyo!

i can see the friendship fading.

gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I REALLY REALLY MADLY MADLY TRULY TRULY
LIKE YOU.

hahahahaha.
guess yourself,parthiban.
*sticks out tongue.

and,wtf.
if you hate my friend.
tell her straight,bitch.

parthiban,
i love you.
and so does your sweetheart!
*winks.

awesomeeeeee!
no school tomorrow!

spin my head right round,right round.

2009-06-01T14:44:00.003+08:00

it was mother tongue olevel exam today!
and i freaked out!

who wouldnt?

omg,seriously,freaked.
paper 1-
was okay.i dont know what to say about this paper.
hopefully,i didnt write out of point.-.-
im always doing that!

paper 2-
fucked up sia!i think i got quite a number wrong
since many people get almost same answers.
argh,damn scary sia.and,i was super sleepy the
whole paper!

my only hope for A1/A2 is my oral!
but me speaking tamil?SUPER COCKED UP!
eew.damnnnnnnnn.

*my distinction is flying away!!!!

eew.i saw your boyfriend!-.-

and,
i think i like someone now.
for real.

HHAHAHHAHA.
whatever.
not as if i can get YOU?
):

my throat hurts badly.

and,
i.
i think.
i think you.
i think you suck.
i think you suck big.
i think you suck big time.

school,tomorrow,once again.
and then,outing with mdm sellathye.
and oh,should i go drama outing?*thinks.

aiya,
fuck the world la.
full of fucked up people.

ps/i passed my sickness to my sister.and im feeling damn bad now!

pss/YOUR BLOG,ABOUT YOU AND UR X-BOYFRIEND IS ATROCIOUS.
*SHE DOESNT FLIRT WITH YOUR BF.THATS FOR YOU TO KNOW.

nothing goes the way its supposed to be.

2009-05-30T10:56:00.002+08:00

even my own family dont have faith in me,
that i can do well in my prelims.

so,

why should i?

why should you?

fuck.
im sick.
damn.
so much of the distinction for mt.
bullshit.

if you thought i was bulletproof,get this,im not.

2009-05-28T17:11:00.003+08:00

hello.

another 3 more days for mt olevels.
im dead scared.
hopefully i can do well.
i have very little hope.
i dont know if i can do it.

best friends are hard to get.
they are harder to keep.

im sad.
i have lots of bestfriends.
and im having difficulties keeping them.

i must have done something wrong.
i dont know why im ignored.
or hated.

the problem is,
when i treat someone important,
it doesnt return back to me.

im sorry for whatever i did wrong.
the thing is,i dont know what i
did wrong.but im ready to beg
forgiveness if you want.because,
seriously,you are my only bestfriend
in school.

whatever.

btw,

GOOD LUCK FOR MOTHER TONGUE OLEVELS,EVERYONE!
TRY YOUR VERY BEST AND GET A DISTINCTION!AND THOSE WHO HAVE
BEEN FAILING ALL THESE TIME,ITS TIME TO SHOW THE WORLD,YOU CAN
PASS AND DO WELL!!!!!!!!!

PS/
its either you dont notice.
or you choose not to.

& the sun will shine brighter the next day.

2009-05-27T16:34:00.005+08:00

hello!

today was okay.
a normal school day,
and guess what.
im not even excited that
the june so-called holidays
are like here in 2 days time.

why?

because its not a holiday.
for us.
the sec-4s.

im stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*pulls hair out.

had imr again today!
we had fun.
HAHHA.
let me say from the start.
i bought some sour sweets.
i was passing it to everyone,
and vino as well.
(i actually forget that she couldnt take sour stuff).
and then,

vino:(asks siti),EHH,THIS ONE SOUR ARH?!?!

me: NO LAH,NOT SOUR,REALLY.NOT AT ALL SIAH.

mavi: YAH,NOT SOUR.

surya: ITS THE APPLE-SOUR KINDA TASTE.

vino:(swallow everything inside her mouth.)

siti: EH WTH.SUPPOSE TO EAT IT SLOWLY.

me: *stares at her intently with surya and mavi.

vino: OMG,(COUGHS,AND COUGHS,)I GONNA VOMIT.(COUGHS AGAIN).

me,surya,mavi,siti: AHHAHAHHAHA.*all talking at once.

and all of a sudden,

she kinda vomit,(all saliva only,EEWWWW!!),
onto the mock exam paper we were given.

what did the rest of us do?

BURST OUT LAUGHING.

SHE IS DAMN FUNNY.
HHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH.
*smiling to myself.

haha.
then had recess.
another fun part.

me and surya continued our wrestling.
and my class were cheering.
though there were some irritated glances,
*oh,for all i care!
and then,yeah.
haha.its pure fun,though it hurts.(:

then had social studies.
did social studies.
and she did a good job in dampening my spirits!

emaths.
HAHAH.
had fun.
we learnt,sets and venn diagrams.
its kinda wierd.=.=

at last,english.
one of the cool lessons.
had oral practice.*sounds WRONG.haha!
and then,yeahhhh,

you guessed it,

MATHS CLUB.
mr ong purposely didnt come out when we called.
and made us wait!!hmphhh.
and so,me and madhavi chatted with mdm sellathye.
haha,fun fun fun!
we gossiped about someone,.
and we planned about our lunch outing after o's.
i cant wait for it!
im sure it will be fun!

then,mr ong checked our papers and dismissed us.
went home with mavi.
saw her mum,talked and now homed.

i have got nothing else to do now.
and im lazy to start on my damn
amaths homework.

oh man!

ps/
wth.
seriously.
made.
a.
mistake.

pss/
i seriously disliked the way you look at me.
i was trying to ignore you,talking to my best
friend though i was looking up.i could see,
you staring.what the hell do you want?!?!?!?
~~you already have your gf.~~.you dont talk
to me anymore,so please stop doing anything else.

AND OMGGGGGG.
I JUST REALISED,

YOU KNOW,THIS POST,AT THE TOP,
THE PART OF,"imr",

ITS THE FIRST THREE WORDS OF SOMEONE
WHOM I KNOW.

HAHHAAH.

title: WHAT A MAN HEARS.

What a Woman Says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
You and I need to clean up.
Your stuff is lying on the floor,
and if we don't do laundry right now
you'll have no clothes to wear."

What a Man Hears:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES!

HAHAHHAHAHAHHA.
(:

btw,

SINGAPORE HAVE H1N1 FLU ALREADY!
OH MY GOD.HOPEFULLY THEY ALREADY QUARANTINED
THE PERSON,IF NOT COULD YOU IMAGINE WHATS THE
FATE OF SINGAPOREANS?MOREOVER,THAT PERSON FROM
NEW YORK LEH!WHAT THE HELL SIAH?IF YOU THINK YOU
SICK,STAY THERE LAH!COME BACK FOR WHATTTT!!!!!!!
DONNING MASKS AND LOCKED UP AT HOME?!?!??!?! IMAGINE!
OMG!SERIOUSLY,ITS SCARY.PEOPLE SAY ITS SOMESORT OF DOOMS DAY.
IDK UH,BUT SCARYYYY!

on the bright side,
no one lives.
okay wait,is it the bright side or the dark one?

HHAHAHHAHHHAHAHA.
reminds me of the,dark fucker..

oh,WHATEVER.

BYEEE!(:

when you stood there with me.

2009-05-26T17:00:00.002+08:00

hello.

what a day!

it was okay,for a normal day at school.

had mt intensive revision,again.
nothing much,did a paper.

then had recess.
sat with surya,alvina and vino once again.
then went back class.

had geo.
supposed to do a paper.
but,we could do it at home,so i didnt do.

then,was amaths.
madhavi gave ms liew her card.
hopefully,she likes it,
happy belated birthday!

at last,was bio.
waste of time,man.
he didnt come to school.
i wonder why.
so me,madhavi,atiqah and yk talked.
crapped as usual.

then?MATHS CLUB!
did some work.
ANNNNDDDDD,i fight with surya.
haha.it was so fun,and i had to use
my whole weight leh!
hahaha,DO IT AGAIN,OKAY SURYA?!?!?

school has been fun.
and,i have been trying to forget you.
trust me,i will.
but,i probably wouldnt want to go through it again.

another,

just another,,

5 MORE DAYS TO MOTHER TONGUE OLEVEL!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!
ITS ACTUALLY THE REAL THING.

im gonna freak out.

but,i cant wait for the next day.
lunch with tamil mates and sellathye,
and,dinner with drama-rians!

whooo.

ps/

to YOU:
DONT WORRY.sometimes,there are people not
to be trusted.but you never knew the whole thing and
how the people involved felt.dont take it personally,
just go with the flow,but believe in who you trust,dont
become paranoid and,make a careful decision about who
you trust.

what the hell.
blogging is becoming boringgggggggg.
HAHA.

okay,im going to see some videos
and do my maths club homework,so byeeee!

accepting.

2009-05-25T21:10:00.003+08:00

sometimes,

PEOPLE TAKE ME FOR GRANTED.
NEVER APPRECIATE ME.
ALWAYS TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME.

AND,THE FEELING SUCKS.
FOR,THAT PERSON CAN BE YOUR FRIEND.
OR YOUR SIBLING.
OR ~~ENEMY.~~

PS/the time is wrng in my tagbox.

who is the loved one?

2009-05-25T16:47:00.003+08:00

hello.

school life as usual.

had intensive mt revision yet again.
it was fun,as we chatted with mdm
sellathye and i felt very at peace.

moreover,i also dislike the fact that
our so-called intensive revision is only
pathetically 3 hours.

i want more!
i really do!

okay,besides that,had english,chemistry and bio.

recess.
was fun.
madhavi went into ultra-seductive mode.
and,haha,she rocked.
though she fell.
and i was so worried that she will cry or smth.
wth,hhaha.suryyaaaa,you damn strong arh!

english,
was fun,
as usual.
ms yap is the best!(:

chemistry.
had a test.
must i say more?

bio.
he didnt come to class.
what the hell.

and then,had maths club.
tomorrow official starting.
haha.
i make it sound prestigious??!!

and im at home now.
seriously,my life is so pathetic.
HAHA.

people get hurt for different reasons.
its either done on purpose or without knowing.
guess,which hurts more?

im gna reply tags!

maple:wth ? eewww .. u go touch his cheeks .. can bear to even see it ! =.=

owner:eeeee!disgusting.haha.

Cassie:Shamimah! Omg thank you really so much okay! I love you so much Let's all get A1 for Amaths okay. Takecare and love ya once again !

owner:HAHHA.we will see about it.continue working hard,babe.ily too!!!!

maple:am i in this amaths thing also ? btw ,marcus face funny enuff ! haha.

owner:where got?hahaha.we elikiraaning too much already lah.

maple:HAHAHA !!!! contrastin u noe y anot ??? if not cannt see her at all in the dark !!! =D

owner:AHAHHAHHAHHA.it wasnt even dark.in the afternoon what.hahha.=.=

sam: :D

owner: hello!

j-bro:i luv u 2 sister!i will nver change.really.i am olwaes thr fer u!dont worri!you will get a better guy than dat ****er who left u 4 sum dark *****.ITS HIS LOSS.NOT URS.YOU DESREVE BETTER.LIKE..HMMM...

owner:HAHHAHA.i still cant believe what you told me.OH MY GOD LAHHHHHHH.hhaha.ily too!

Marcus:Yip!! kay kay won.

owner: HAHA.yaya.ur wife won okay.(:

thats all.

what the fuck.seriously hate it when you
take advantage of me?what am i?your fucking
dog?.

sometimes,you can never get the best.

2009-05-24T20:06:00.002+08:00

hello!

weekends were okay.

as i said,i was supposed to go to sentosa
on saturday,but it was cancelled,and so
i followed vino to church.

(yes,i begged my father to let me go,and trust me,
i didnt beg by falling on his feet,but by doing
housework.=.=)

and something to note,i didnt go
to church to pray to jesus or actually convert,
because to me,thats stupid,but i went there
to experience the atmosphere,see the way they
pray and just enjoy myself.

and so,i went with surya.
and er,rhagavan and siva came along.
so unexpected on the way.
HAHAHHAA.i keep on laughing.
sshhh,secret.

then when we reached,we saw indians.
and omg,they act like some shit.
hahahha,we four kept laughing.
when we reached,we were introduced
and we sat down at our seats.
i was between rhagavan and siva.=.=
haha,but hey,they are fun people.

then,at first i was freaked.
because,well,it was scary lah.
i have never been to a church.
and there were a part where we
had to hold hands,and i almost
died out of fright.
seriously.

but i also saw how devoted christians were,
their love for jesus and it shows.
very clearly.

and i respect them for that.(:

after the whole thing,went to grab something
to eat,but not many of us were hungry,so we
headed home.at the mrt,we chatted and laughed,
at vino.hahha.she laughed at herself,and she is
a very nice person.

overall,it was a fun experience.
i had enjoyed my trips to temple,to mosque(obviously)
and now to church!how fun!

and,seriously,
siva is freakingass funny.
very nice guy.
(:

today,i went to mosque.
had fun with the rest.
crapped here and there.

and i came home to do homework.

okay,i know im very mundane,
but hey,not my fault okay?!?!?

i love chatting with you,brother.
seriously,miss the days we are together.
just never do anything very bad.i always love
you,and dont be a kuku and follow your friends
wherever they go and do.you understand?HAHAHA.

and oh,you.
your girlfriend has a very nice sense of fashion.
really.
i am glad i saw her in the afternoon.
meeting you,i guess?
send her back before 7,though.

okay.
i guess im sad.
i dont know why.
i just have no one to talk to though.

some just care about themselves.
some have new companions.
some just wasnt there from the start.
some just dont understand.

i need to get my feelings out.

i want to call the tinkerbell service.
you know,the ones you call and they say
solutions to the problems we have?!?!?!

its called tinkerbell service,right?!?!??!

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

when i see,
my nerves tingle.
i shiver.
my heart beats faster than usual.
i blabber.

i have no idea whats happening.
no idea.

always a decision made.

2009-05-22T16:29:00.002+08:00

hello.

im exhausted.
feeling very limp.
dont ask me why.

i had a fun day today.
though,some mishaps here and there.
had mt intensive revision,for 4 hours.
omg.it was kinda okay.did a paper,
listened music,laugh and had fun.

but,im dead scared for olevels though.

then,went back class to check results.
and as usual,totally disastrous.
*stupid,stupid,stupid.
seriously.

then had "maths club",
im somehow glad to be in it.
at least,i improve.
if possible,that is.

maths club was quite short though,
(and oh,i saw you!!!!!),
headed for lunch with eunice,mavi and surya.
heri and bryan(sec 3) joined us.
and we had lots of fun,crapping and making
jokes,though i laugh alot.

and eunice told me a horrifying thing,

when you laugh,your face gets chubbier!

oh my god!
thats why,i have super chubby cheeks.
i have to control my laughter sometimes.
which is utterly impossible.

after chatting,laughing,heri and bryan
headed to school,and i went home with
eunice.we chatted more,and i reached home!

i know,this is a boring entry,because seriously,
i have nothing to blog about.
since,i dont brood.=.=

well,
i dont know if i should head to sentosa tomorrow.
if only my father allowed.

i didnt know i upset you so much.didnt know
i let you down.even if you think im a failure,how am i
to continue?

oh shit.i forgot to send songs to madhavi.
i have to remember.*taps skull.

and,im currently crapping with marcus.
haha.

and you,
your girlfriend's bag contrasts with her skin,
a tad too much.

im talking bull.
(:

its my 101th post.

2009-05-20T17:01:00.003+08:00

as my title says,

this is my 101th post!

thank you,marcus.
though,i probably wouldnt really listen.
at least,you care.
thankyou.
sincerely.

thank you benedict for giving me tissue.
thank you yunkhim for caring.
thank you atiqah for asking.
thank you surya for your concern.
thank you ms yap for your love.
thank you ms liew for your persuasion.
thank you madhavi for making me laugh when i want to cry.
thank you parthiban for making me feel 100 times better,then making me cry.
thank you hema for calling me.
thank you mr lee(v) for making me laugh at something you did.

HAHHAHAHHAHA.
i still laugh when i remember what mr (v)lee did.

i want to be happy.
but,i dont know where to start.

swear.

2009-05-19T18:13:00.003+08:00

i am so sad.
more sad than ever.

let my parents down.
let everyone down.

i am crying.
real hard.

is it my fault?

my brain?

or god?

its true.
100%.

i am an idiot.

a fat,ugly and extremely stupid one.

i wish upon a star.

2009-05-19T17:19:00.002+08:00

sometimes,

i wish,
i could do better.
i wish,
i could score better.
i wish,
i could smile with my whole heart.
i wish,
i was more like her.

sometimes,

i wish,

i wasnt me.

i am sad.
real sad.

best of both worlds.

2009-05-18T18:55:00.002+08:00

hello everyone!

what a weekend.-.-

saturday.

was the most horrible day of my life.
horrible.horrible.
i looked horrible,babbled horrible,
smiled horrible.
full of horrible-ness!*if there is such a word.
seriously,never forgiving you,*********.
andd,never forgetting your look.
i know i looked damn weird,and everything
people say about me,but eh,must look at me
like that arh?!?!?!?!?!?!?

forget it.

sunday.

went to catch a movie with marcus,aaron,bryan,huida,
nicholas and madhavi.was fun.i laughed alot.and screamed
too.-.-

rating: 7/10

to me,it was okay.
but the ending was somehow stupid.
but trust me,its freaky.especially
when stuff appear.

go catch it,if you want.(:

then,madhavi had to head home,so we actually
accompanied nicholas to tampines.
( and trust me,i thought tampines was somehow
nearer to woodlands,somewhere there.never did
i thought it was near pasir ris.THIS SHOWS
HOW I NEVER WENT OUT.DEPRIVED!!!! )
anw,the train was filled with banglas,*as usual,
and,

nicholas to the rescue!!!

as in,he didnt punch them or anything,
but he somehow protected us,and im grateful.(:

today.

went to school at 11.met nicholas on the way.
sit for test.and i was damn tired.
and yea,after that i went library.
borrowed books and headed home.
and,im rotting now.

but,
i have a bad gut feeling.
i am scared for my results tomorrow.
i am super jittery about it.
i am bound to fail at least 2,get C for 3,
get a B and a A.
wow.im so clever.FUCKING BULL.

the truth is hiding in eyes,
hanging in your tongue.

i need to reply tags.
like soon.(:

starting from 24 of april.

Eunice:
wa shamimah! why people so desperate for such attention? That person's house sure no mirror thats why (: cheer up babe!

reply:
hahah.okay,thanks!

parthiban:
yes,shamimah is back on the web.alamak,why ur boyfriend there,dont have my face lah?i also ryte?haha,and oh,liverpool famour football player me laa.famous,i mean.and oh,i know who you are interested in.weeehooooooo.

reply:
shut up.
haha.damn irritating la u.

zhina to passerbyer:
u good for this only ah fcuker? shes beautiful,both in and out. fculker,go and die.!!!

reply:
thanks.just ignore?will be the best.

maple:
yoyoyoyo GWB's babygurl .. eh bro say he needs u .. stop dng this to him =/ its hurting me !! hahahahahaha !

reply:
eew.madhavi!hahaha.

marcus:
kay kay. (: haha

reply:
hahhaa.yea,ur meant to be,kay2?ahhaha.

patrice:
hello(:

reply:
heylo!i missed you.

parthiban:
i got something to tell you.very important.because of the ***** la.she say,she talk to you nicely,but you blog about her?****ing piece of dog-****.she sticking up to _____ and _____ and _____.you better call her up.and eh,all the best for your exams.do well.

reply:
yeah.her blog not private anymore.
and her boyfriend left her.
how sad.-.-

herii:
taggeddd!! shamimah! i miss crapping wit u mann...hahaha anw, best of luck for your exams and take careeee! ((:

reply:
hey!hahaha.i miss crapping with you too.so much fun.thanks!and btw,happy birthday!(:

maple:
dont worry too much la ! tell u alr talk to my brother .. u dont wan.. then he do this to u! . relax .. hv kitkat !

reply:
i hate him lah.seriously.

munting:
shamimah u are not stupid.. trust me u are never stupid. ur hard work will come back to u one day maybe not now but i can be sure it will be much late
later, maybe not ur studies but ur work don be sad okay? all the best.

reply:
hmmm,thats what happens for others.not me.

parthiban:
my sister,learn to accept challenges as they pass by,trust me,you are the most beautiful person,as a whole i have met,though you arent perfect.
dont worry,failures are stepping stones for success.thats what u always tell me.you are never stupid,never.and dont worry,ur prince will wait for you.

reply:
shut up arh,i feel like killing you.
soon.and i make sure you die.
grrrr.

maple:
ya ya !! prince charming =) excuseme .. dont wry .. ur wish for a frend to get lower than u for 1 sub will come true .. just wait for the bio results.

reply:
eh,dont side parthiban arh!and btw,it wont come true,i have a bad feeling
about bio,and alot of other subjects.
aiya.

surya:
hey girl. cheer up(: things happen for a reason yahh. c'mon be strong and hope for the best next time. work harder, im sure you can do it.

reply:
thanks.(:

parthiban:
love is in the air.i can feel it.dont deny the truth shamimah.HAHAHAHAA.cant believe it.so phony.what a guy.what a guy.what a love.lolx.i shall see
"ya,she looks abit different in school uni,but she looked sweet when smiled at me"! HHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA.

reply:
thats it.im definetely killing you.
idiot!

Glenn:
Hey Shami. I miss you.

reply:
glenn.i missed you too.hang out soon!(:

maple:
omg !!! hahahahah !!!!!! ya c'mon shamimah if tat fcker can leave u for darkness .. u can leave him and go to I. see his name also start with i. &&see .. at least he loves u .. give it a shot la gurlfrend =).

reply:
he doesnt love me.
he doesnt even know me.
and ps,he deserves someone better.
much better.

maple:
i want a cute brother =) !!! gwb not cute enuff !!! -.-

reply:
you mean,gwb is cute?hahahahha.no lah,u gt rozells,ya!
hahha.as in,for a brother.haha.((:

Eunice:
shamimah!!! dun so sad la!!! cheer up cheer up cheer up!!

reply:
okay,dont worry.haha,thanks also!(:

sam:
cheer up sham.

reply:
haha,i will.dont wry!thanks for the concern.

maple:
you are so damn idoit.people tell you to relux. u ignore them.
-.-
eh .. jking ah !!

reply:
what did i do la?

thats it.
thats alot.
and there are more.
im lazy.*grins.

school tomorrow.
oh god.

ps/he is online.

well,
its love.
its meant to hurt.

i deserved it.

parthiban.
trust me.
you are going to die in my hands.
soon.

full of bullshit.

2009-05-15T19:28:00.002+08:00

hello everyone.

no more studying.
*until tmrw,that is.

yes,mid-years are over.
*relieved.

now to the normal.

i failed physics.
yes,fucking failed it.

only i know how down i feel right now.

after everything.
after studying so hard.
after trying to understand.
after teaching people.
after people teaching me.

i failed.
got an

E8.

whoa.
brilliant,isnt it?

how awesome.
how totally great.

and ________,said i didnt even
put in my effort,and i did it anyhow.
hello,how would you know that i didnt
put in my effort?did you ever see me
not studying it or actually watching
tv/playing computer games/having
second cca?i didnt,did i?yes,when
you told me,i was so sad.as in,just
because my fucking brain couldnt
absorb any fucking information and
cant answer your fucking questions,
does that mean,i didnt put in any
effort?if i didnt put in any effort,
i would admit it right?i know i didnt
improve,did you HAVE TO RUB IT IN MY
FACE?!?!?!?
yes,i was making jokes and laughing,
because trust me,if i didnt do that,
i would have started crying that absolute
second.

is it my fault that i cant understand
anything neither can i apply whatever
i learnt?

is it my fault that god probably wanted
to punish me for some fucking sin i
did last time,and made sure i didnt pass?

is it my fault that my luck has been down
recently?

is it my fault,that,that i realised im probably
stupid?
*sidetrack:
IM STILL FAT FAT FAT FAT !
and obviously,ugly on the whole.
back to main point:*

i realised,
i always never did well for any subjects.
never got more than a c for my subjects.
never felt happiness when i received results.
never had a smile on my face when i saw my grade.
never congratulated myself,WELL DONE,SHAMIMAH..
never went home with a smile and told my mum.
never saw a "very-good" look on my mum's face.
never saw me doing better than my friends.
never saw my friends,saying,"i am happy for you!".
never experienced the after gift of hardwork.
never saw any teacher saying i improved.
never heard any teacher said,the highest is shamimah.

why?

but,i realised,
i always fail or get a c.
always take my results with a sober face.
always never had a lighted face after seeing the marks.
always never had the pleasure of hard-work being paid off.
always see the teacher shaking his/her head,
always see my mom with the "questioning-look".
always see my dad with his,"do better next time".
always see friends getting better than me.
always see im a failure.

whats next?

flunk english?
get a C for bio?
get another C for combined humanities?

i wanted to get a lesser l1r5 grade for mye.
but no.
"fat hope,SHAMIMAH!".

people always say,

you cant always have a bed of roses?
there is bound to be a bed of thorns and everyone
has failures,sadness now and then.its time to pick
up,move on and enjoy life.take hold of problems and
you will shine.

FUCKING BULLSHIT.

ANYONE EVER REALISED I NEVER EVER HAD A BED OF ROSES?
I AM ALWAYS SOMEHOW SAD,ANGRY OR PLAIN FUCKED UP.

I AM ALRDY HAVING A SUPER LOW SELF-ESTEEM.
AND NOW this.
THANK YOU _________.for telling me.
THANK YOU GOD.for twisting fate.
THANK YOU BRAIN.for failing me.
THANK YOU SHAMIMAH.for being a total dumb.

not just physics.
chemistry,

total heart-ache.

i got a fucking C6.

how i love my brain.
my fantastically fucking stupid BRAIN.

what a beautiful place.
filled with love/hope/peace/safety.
so serene and full of solititude.
how i wish i was there now.
with my best friend.
with my brothers/sisters.
with my family.
with my *meant to be.

*
EH WAIT.
HAHAHHAHHAA.*SACARSTIC.
HOW STUPID.
HOW CAN I GET A MEANT TO BE?
IM ASKING too much.-.-

AND YOU FEEL LIKE ,
you are the center of the world.
you are the best.
you love yourself.
and its you.

and somehow,you feel.
EARTH,
the best place to live,nurture,love and grow.
i wish i was there,to escape feeling
a four-letter-word,PAIN.

beautiful.

okay,
p/s:

MALAYSIA GOT SWINE FLU ALREADY !!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD.
I WONDER HOW LONG ITS GOING TO TAKE FOR IT TO REACH SINGAPORE.
I MEAN,LIKE HELLO,ITS AIR-BORNE?
IM SCARED.
YES,I WANTED DEATH.
BUT HEY,SOMEHOW NOT LIKE THIS.

OMG.
SWINE FLU SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM GLAD MY BEST FRIEND IS A PARROT.
AND NOT A PIG.
OH,ILY.

PSS/somehow im glad i met you.
but yes,we arent meant to be.
in photos,trust me,editing does wonders.
but in real life,thats how i look.
dont be too shocked,find another girl.

psss/ AND NO PARTHIBAN.NO SUCH THING AS
PRINCE CHARMING.ESPECIALLY FOR ME.
YOU GO ENJOY OKAY.WITH YOUR PRINCESS.
I LOVE YOU BROTHER.(:

how sweet.
if only.

STOP DREAMING SHAMIMAH!

take care,readers.

wishes.

2009-05-01T13:19:00.002+08:00

hello everyone!

i am just here to wish
everyone ,

all the best!

for your mye.

do your best,yea!

ps/: blog on hiatus until end of mye.

pss/: i am hurt.~~deeply.~~

takecare!

back on the track.

2009-04-25T22:00:00.003+08:00

hey people.

miss me?
probably not.
i miss my blogging sessions.
i am not alright yet,but okay.
whatever,its none of your care
and concern.

so,yeah.
school life ~~was~~ hectic.
correction,IS hectic.
i somehow stepped down from drama.
i cried.
it just didnt seem right.
and syf is over for all p.a.g.

drama-got a SILVER,yo!
damn damn happy.
i expected a well,bronze.
but this is fabulous.
super elated.

choir-got a bronze.
i heard they expected more.
its okay,at least u all try your best.
and btw,lots of people are addicted to
ur songs.(:

dance-gold.
as always,one of the best.

band-bronze.
hmm,heard lots of people cried.
but hey,its okay.all of greenridgeans
know you guys worked like crazy.there
always is a next time.dont worry.
(:

okay,thats all.
haha.
rather short post.
but hey,i miss typing.
hee.

ps: whoa,best friends already?i thought you hate her.
*sticks out tongue.

and,im fucking confused.
stop talking to me.
if you are out of my life,than thats it.
dont come and talk to me suddenly.
i hate it.
hate,hate.
know the meaning?
UNDERSTAND it.

and oh,
i am interested in you,__________.
i mean it.

thanks bro.

and madhavi,yunkhim are one of the best.

if you ever would.just love me for who i am.

2009-03-01T21:31:00.002+08:00

She can't see the way your eyes will light up when you smile
She never noticed how you stop and stare whenever she walks by
And you can't see me wanting you the way you want her
But you are everything to me

And I just want to show you, she don't even know you
She's never gonna love you like I want to
And you just see right through me but if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable
Instead of just invisible, yeah

There's a fire inside of you that can't help but shine through
But she's never gonna see the light, no matter what you do
And all I think about is how to make you think of me
And everything that we could be

Like shadows in the faded light, oh, we're invisible
I just wanna open your eyes and make you realize

And I just want to show you, she don't even know you
Baby, let me love you, let me want you
You just see right through me but if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable
Instead of just invisible.

without love,whats there to die for?without love,whats there to live for?

Here you come again
Just when I've begun to get myself together
You waltz right in the door
Just like you've done before
And wrap my heart 'round your little finger
Here you come again
Just when I'm about to make it work without you
You look into my eyes
And light those dreamy eyes
And pretty soon I'm wonderin'
How I came to doubt you
All you gotta do
Is smile that smile
And there go all my defenses
Just leave it up to you
And in a little while
You're messin' up my mind
And fillin' up my senses

Here you come again
Lookin' better than a body
Has a right to
And shakin' me up so
That all I really know
Is here you come again

All you gotta do
Is smile that smile
And there go all my defenses
Just leave it up to you
And in a little while
You're messin' up my mind
And fillin' up my senses

Here you come again
Lookin' better than a body
Has a right to
And shakin' me up so
That all I really know
Is here you come again
here I go
and here you come again
here I go

i cant take it.
i really cant.

all about passion.

2009-02-28T17:09:00.002+08:00

and just when i thought,

"its okay,i dont have him.
i have you.you will always
be with me through everything".

just when i thought,
you go about saying you
want to be alone.
you dont need anyone.

sucker.

2009-02-28T16:05:00.002+08:00

current mood: bored/tired
listening to: vaseegera

1]Have u woke up next to stranger?
"no,obviously not."

2] Luv someone but they didnt luv u back?
"yes.totally."

3]Ever wasted your time on someone, who didnt appreciate it?
"yessa,"

4]Have children?
"nah."

5]Are you married?
"no.do i look like i am?"

6]Hiding any secrets?
"deep in me,"

7]Are u angry with someone right now?
"yes.very."

8]Ever played strip poker?
"no."

9]If u had to choose 1 of your friends to mess around with, who would it be?
"HAHAH.nah.no one"

10]Are u single, taken or not sure?
"isnt this duh?im single."

11]Ever drank to much and did something u were not suppose to?
"i am not answering this.(:"

12]Whats the funniest thing that has happend to u?
"lots of stuff.i am a joker."

19]Whats the worst thing that has happened to u?
"lots of them."

20]If u could change one thing in your life what would it be?
"get this someone out of my head."

21]Ever gone skiing?
"no."

22]Whats ur fav. color?
"black,purple,green."

23]If u could pick any kind of car u wanted..what would it be?
"i dont know.i aint a fan of cars."

24]Would u date outside your race?
"hmm."

25]Whats ur fav. food?
"seafood,yo."

1) Single, Taken, Naked, or Flirty
"Single"

2) Are you happy with that?
"i dont know.i really dont."

3) Would you kiss your ex?
"no."

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
"yes.duh.*rolls eyes."

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is oK?
"no way."

7) Have you ever talked about marriage with another person?
"hmm,yes."

8) Do you want children?
"yessa,"

9) How Many?
"idk."

10.) Would you consider adoption?
"sure2."

11) If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
"nothing.keep it to themselves,"

12) Do you want someone you can’t have?
"yes.lots."

13) Have you fallen in love?
"yes."

14) Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
"yeahhh,"

15) Do you believe that you can change for someone?
"yeah,but aint full-heartedly."

16.) Is it a good day?
"no."

17) Have you ever broken a heart before?
"hahaha.yes."

18) Does your ex still have feelings for you?
"dont know, dont care."

19) Do you still have feelings for them?
"no"

20) Do you believe in long distance relationships?
"nope."

You have to use 3 words to answer each question. No more, no less. It’s harder than you think.

1. Where is your cell phone?
- in my room.

2. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/hubby?
- never having one.

3. Your hair?
- over my face?

4. Where is your father?
- on the sofa.

6. Your favorite thing to do?
- dancing in the rain.(i know,it isnt 3 words!*grr.)

7. Your dream last night?
- someone loved me

8. Your favorite drink?
- double chocolate frappe.

9. Your dream car?
- dont have one.

10. The room you’re in?
- floor of my room.

12. Your fears?
- being hurt again.

14. Who did you hang out with last night?
- hema and the ktg group.

15. What aren’t you good at?
- controlling my emotions.

16. Muffins?
- i like those!

17. One of your wish list items?
- good o levels .

19. The last thing you did?
- talk to someone

20. What are you wearing?
- shorts with shirt?

22. Your pet?
- gave it away.

23. Your computer?
- still the same.

24. Your life?
- is fucked up.

25. Your mood?
- Feeling very lousy.

26. Missing?
- madhavi,yunkhim,parthi.

27. What are you thinking about right now?
- A certain someone

28. Your car?
- Don't own any.

29. Your work?
- studying right now.

30. Your summer?
- singapore doesnt have summer.

31. Your relationship status?
- single and hopeless.

32. Your favorite color(s)?
- Green, Black, purple.

33. When is the last time you laughed?
- this very mrng.

34. Last time you cried?
- in the toilet.

i am bored.
trying to get my mind off somethings.
since,friends left me hanging
long time ago.
ppffftttt.

fucked up.

fuck.

2009-02-27T21:45:00.003+08:00

current mood:sad
listening to:happy ending.

i was a fucker.
a total fucker.

to fucking think
that a guy like him
will fucking ever
fucking like me
for who the fucking
hell i fucking am.
to think that whatever
fucking things i do
will attract his attention.
to wonder if he would
ever fucking would like
a fucking girl like me.

i was wrong.
i was fucking wrong.

how stupid of me.
how fucking stupid.

to get my fucking hopes high.
to get my dreams soar so fucking high.
to actually fucking think

he would fucking like a
fucking girl like me.

fuck.
stupid.
fucking stupid.
fat.
fucking fat.
ugly.
fucking ugly.

me.

forever and always.

2009-02-22T18:48:00.005+08:00

current mood:bored.
listening to:breathe.

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true, cause I know you...
Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
You cry, but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're together with a smile
But you're coming undone
I guess it's true that love was all you wanted
Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain
Oh, cause it's not his price to pay
Not his price to pay...
You're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone... oh
Goodbye, baby
With a smile, baby, baby

my friends dedicated this to me.
i cried even more after hearing it.
whatever bullshit.-.-

too late for you and your white horse.

2009-02-20T21:51:00.002+08:00

current mood:fatigued.
listening to:vachikkava.

i am exhausted.
after 11(or is it 12?) weeks of school.
im exhausted like crazy.

i am not going to say what happen everyday
and stuff.

ps/my life isnt that great anyway.

i am always having on a fake smile.
when i see you,i get happy like crazyass.
but when i think,im overeacting.
when i take photos with people,i cant help
but see how i spoil the photo,how fat and
ugly i look and every other fact about me.
no one has ever said straight to my face
anything nice.except for one of my brothers.
but thats not the point.its like,its obvious.
when i say eg:

me to a person: ehh,i look so ugly siak!
the person: silence.

you tell me.
what do you think/infer frm that silence?

and they call themselves friends.

i repeat.
i say,themselves.
doesnt imply on just one particular person.
or whatsoever.

i hate myself.
why doesnt he like me?
you answer that,i will stop.

can i cry?
can i?
can i?
can i please?
please?
i will cry till i cant stop?
please.

i need to get the feeling out of my
head/body/mind/soul/bones/nerves/heart.

i need to talk.
to someone.
any ideas?
fuck,my msn is down.

btw,
the weather is freaking hot nowadays.
like crazy asshole siakkk!

madhavi's husband and two children(which isnt visible)
is very noisy and irritating.

inside joke.
(:

its true!
madhavi: look like chui sia!
me:(silence),really meh?little bit lah.
madhavi: obama handsome,chui handsome meh?
HAHAHAHHA.
ps/no offense to anyone who loves chui.
he is a good teacher.i agree/i agree!*grins.

we got this and freaked out like crazy.
and the best part is,once u signed,u cant
drop subjects RIGHT?buttttt,chemistry test
was effing hard and well,there were second
thoughts.&*@!&@*^#@^@&^@#_$^(#$#() !!!!

4e1's babies from bio class.
YOU SEE,THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STUDY TOO MUCH.
what comes out,is awfully weird.

me and madhavi's daughter
who is in love withhhh,

awwwhhhhh.
haha.
i cant believe i might be a grandma soon.
whoo.im old.-.-

overdued pictures of valentines' day.
all presents,please dont expect my face.

from weilin.

from sameen.

from madhavi.

from yunkhim.

from left: madhavi,sze chieh,yunkhim's chocolates.

from atiqah.

from eunice.
(:

as i said,
i am tired.
i have tests and lessons tomorrow.
and im going to the library.

tags replied:

(from the next page of my tagbox.)

sam:
hehehe..who you like ah..?=P

reply:
no one uh.haha.

maple:
walao .. who arh ?? hmm !!!! HYE !!!!!!!!!

reply:
what arh?haha.

Eunice:
shamimah!! you always make the class more enjoyable! yayy!

reply:
haha.thanks.u make it fun too.(:

atiqah:
sham dun be sad if u gt any problems talk to me kk

reply:
haa.okay,thanks atiq.

passingby:
im sry.if eu really need to talk,talk to me.is it abt the guy?i used to be your besfriend.if eu remember.take care.

reply:
sheesh.whatever.okay,thanks btw.

maple:
u r perfect .. a perfect normal person .. boost ur self-confidence .. tats lacking .. u need it .. call jagan & bird .. sure they can help ..
there's definately someone .. he is plain useless .. such a furger . someone who is too dumb for u .. u derserve someone else . evryone here agreeS
u for whu u r . not for looks .. someone who thnks u r the best compared to all the other pl in this world.
stop thinking abt him .. i noe u cant .. but try .. try at least .. there;ll definately be someone who is thr for u at all times .. someone who loves
what can i sae ?? SMILE .. gotit !
i needa go bathe .. LOLS .. u btr smile arh .. hahaha . luff now .. NOW .. NOWWW

reply:
i understand.but i cant forget and no,there is no one
out there.who would like me,you say?if i were a boy,
i wouldnt like me also.its obvious lah.so,whats the
point?-.-

sam:
thanks for everthign u have done for me.do go my blog and tag tag also.haha..*hugs and kisses*
HAPPY VALENTINES SHAMIPUFF!i love you..haha..
TAGGED=P

reply:
haha.okok,ily too.
thx for ur valentines' day present too.

bloghopper:
saw your picture at your friend's blog .
hello , just came by your blog , you are really pretty (:

reply:
stop wasting your time and talking pure lies.
thank you very very much.

sam:
TAGGED!

reply:
thank you!(:

iman:
eh! i miss you siaaaaa! if you wna talk or anythn just call me ok! long time nvr crap with you sia! D;

reply:
i agree siahhhh!imy like crazy ass too.u also call me okay.((:

passingby:
hello!i heard that time gt reproblem?what happen?

reply:
whattttt?solve alrdy whatttt.wah god,u outdated siak.

maple:
*shark snaps * waiting for ur updates ... lalalala ... i edited our pic thou !

reply:
*sharks snap retardly*
update liaos.

----------------------------------------------

see!
somehow i make the picture look so ugly
when my friend looks good.thanks.